BreakabLe

I've Moved!

2005-03-31T21:35:00.000+08:00

Whee~! I got my new blog done! So. . . Thanks for the your past visits to this blog! I'll be moving on to the new one from tis day on... See Ya!

Click here to move there

The fire burns brightly, fiercely, and might cease. . .

2005-03-29T09:09:00.000+08:00

The fury
The anger
The blood gushing through my veins
Flooding my thoughts of being sane

Clenching fists
Biting lips
So much urge to take a swing at you
Holding back by only a few minutes

*What the F***!*

The most vulgarities i've ever heard early in the morning! Time check: o845am

Crazy! CRAZY!!! She wanted to stage the rebellion against the pretender King, as he maDe every attempt to show how almighty he was! There he was, intimidating, seemingly on the verge to terrorize the civilians of the town.

No! NO!!! A surge of anger rose and could no longer be oppress! She breathes heavily, trying to calm herself down. Only waiting for the tyrant to make another move or leave. She had fear, but she couldn't less care! Cause she needed to stand, to fight, and to go against!

She waited... Waited... AND WAITED.... The tormenter left... The rebellion did not take place,
but the fire is still burning... burning more fiercely than before...

Beware, You've been warned. . .

Thinking... of... Frenz

2005-03-28T03:26:00.000+08:00

Another day of the month... A lazy Sunday spent at home... But something wonderful about it.

Firstly, i never quite liked people taking away my Sunny Sunday from me, unless concerning issues:
Schoolwork
Birthday
Gathering/ Party
If not these 3, better let me off on a Sunday, that's a day for rest and to be spent with my family. Too bad if those ppl ain't need a rest day, but try not plan things on Sunday, morning's not fine, afternoon's not either, as for night, i'm sure ya got an answer already...

It's okay if i made the arrangement and happily went along with it. If i make a frown, i'm probably juz $%&*%$ silently...

Yah, i complain alot. That not a sudden realisation, but something i've been doing alot... Yes Yes... Trying to cut down.

*FrEnZ*

Anyway, nothing much to do with all that RAIN today, but it did some gd, somehow... I miss some of old classmates, frenz, & palz.

Bel has everything been going well?
Hui Ying i'm sorry if i wasn't a gd fren in the past, what ya up to now?

Toreen, xiao jie ah~ Heard u've been busy with your "boy boy" ah~? I haven't seen u for so so long u knoe!
Clara.. Hmm..Busy? the last time i called ya, but u were busy...
YiXiu!! You crazy gal! Haiz... Crez seems so commercialized now, its lost the "feeling"
Vidya, i also haven't seen u, what r u doing now?
Sam... Looks like ya the only one i see ard, but mcm makes ya busy. Ya look pretty too!
Farhana, last time i saw u... @ pioneer jc rugby team... U go gal! Better work hard for A's.

Old mates' from Crez... would like to meet them, got lots to say & ask... Can someone please please take charge to plan some gathering?! This was the colour of my skool skirt, i still got it!

MeiYu... Always going in each others' direction, we never seem to stop in between, but we still remember the existance of each other & the birthday. Best frenz, we were, still are? i wonder...

Joel, we share the weirdest friendship. Not seen each other, but our siblings even know each other face-to-face. Weird hah? At least we dun write letters, but sms instead. Truthfully, i always forget to drop my mails into the mailbox, they get out-dated... Think we ever bumped into each other? Who knoes man?

Kuan Pheng... Remember i said i'll come visit your new place, then again, u only moved 3 blocks down the road. GOSH~! Whatever did u move for??? I think your old place was kinda nice, near our primary sch then, a playgrd, juz nice between all our other frens' homes. Nevermind, most of them have moved out, looks like there's only you & i left. I'll bug u one of these days. Heehee

Too many to mention if i really do... But these are the ones i've suddenly thought of, and i miss them...

I dunno what is what...

2005-03-24T23:01:00.000+08:00

*A tinge of today*

Perhaps i felt the need to pamper myself, after having a total blur day. Forgetting my wallet when i went out with my mom. Then, had to be dependent on a friend in order to make it through the day and make it home. Thank you for the medicine that u helped me get when you arrived, such a life-saver. =)

To pamper myself, i was crazy enough to buy a crab to eat with my brother all the coffee shop (888). Practically... Everyone stared! Hmph... *Auntie ah! I would luv to eat in peace! Please dun stare!* Yes, it's not a "PRETTY" thing to eat crab in public... Heehee... But who cares?! BLACK PEPPER CRAB K!!! Forget being neat & tidy, juz tuck in! When i first tried to be neat, a piece of crab flew over the table, so hack care and juz dirty my hands.

Advise from a friend today:

The world is like this, life is like this. People do change, either for the better or for the worst; people do change to adapt to life itself and situations that it beholds for us; different situations for each individual to learn, grow, and to be a stronger person.

Sigh...

Life is so... complicated.

Fake?

why? Why? Why all the pretending? Acting?

Does everyone have alot of secrets and bad past to hide? Or alot of pain that needs to be covered up for? So by hiding, do they feel stronger or more dominant? Or are they hiding evil schemes and plans up their sleeves?

It's times like these, when i wonder, what i want in life.. Should i be disturbed or bothered by what they say, think , or do? Sometimes, yes... They do trigger me off. Making me filled with anger & fury.

Advise from friend:
You can't control what others think. (i always misplace this advise)

So... i choose, (AND TRY MY BEST) to ignore and not be bothered. Cause once again, it boils down to the fact that "One can't please everyone".

*fake*

Hmmm... Maybe i am too... Coz i always fake a smile on my face. Haha.. of all things, a smile... Can't help it, when ya lost it. At least, not most of the times. Well... guess that's faking too.

*Sucky!!!*

Winnie will be coming in June, i wish you'll pack me away with her when she returns. Though i'll miss some friends, i think there's too much bad memories...

She'll rather fly away... Loner... Running away... No guts to face reality!

Yawn... Olivia out...

Finishing the incomplete & thoughts to convey to some

2005-03-23T21:51:00.000+08:00

The venom within raises and subsides
killing slowly as each word i recite
The bitter and anger sway with delight
as uncertainty rules over in a fight

She chooses ignorance and friendly ties
but each time stirred up by words felt like lies
Finding ways to see and feel the person outside
thoughts and unkinds will juz take a ride

What i see are masks and covers that seal
blocking the truth that i want to feel
Are you the beautiful who's kind and won't kill
Or the nemesis who won't lose sight of the thrill

The gurl who's tired of reading and knowing...
Decision: She won't fall into traps no further...
Further MORE: Dun play the "Cat & Ball of String" trick on me.

This was written few days ago... But kinda incomplete entry, so i didn't post it. Well... since it was written, then it should be there for a reason. So might as well post it.

*thOuGhts of ze screwed uP gaL*

Haha... a stupid song of my own lyrics came to my head too with my own rock tune. Sounds so "Siao" of me! Very quick entry... So i'll "chOp ChOp" and summarize my thoughts.

To Liz... Yes, i'll call ya soon! I miss our old school days together. Sorry if i neglected you.

No time to blog... i know i haven't made any class reflections or regards simce first semester till now. When i have the time and clear mind.

And... I know, i'll be busy away for camps soon. Yes, i know (to those concern) that u all think i won't come. No, unless i'm sick, if not, YOU ALL shall SEE ME! *Dunno if that's unfortunate for you all*

To Bryan & Mich, I'm thankful and grateful that i've got to know you 2! It's been really great having to know you all, and having you guys as friends! ---> Scared of people interpreting too deep... PLEASE, i mean what i've said, but i may not be good in my words... Might sound stiff, coz i'm busy and yet still trying to blog very quickly.

Time taken: 15 mins... Not very fast also leh! *too-pid gal!*

Dreams do often lie...

2005-03-19T01:09:00.000+08:00

Those days of kicking & sparring has slowly faded away... But the adreanaline rush is juz so unforgettable.

*Deja vu*

While in sweet slumber,

our mind follows after.

Things and wishes that

are not to be granted.

As sleepers always find,

that dreams do often lie.

Imagination eventually becomes

the answer.

*A nightmare... to fear...*

I dreamt that some things will happen in the near future; outings with friends, things happening in the month of April. Yah... Perhaps i dreamt of them coz ppl ard me been tokking bout these things to come. But among all the events, one came across to me as something very, very disturbing. While the rest all seemed pretty real, like high chance of happening. I fear for the worst of all thee...

Though a few times, i've experience Deja vu. Maybe those situations juz so happen to resemble another. I can only say now.. It's juz a dream . . .

*Editing*

Long day spent in the editing suite. Oh well... Good thing we're not in the "10 cents film" pit now... *phew...*

I spy... An imp-ish looking one!

2005-03-17T15:44:00.000+08:00

Haha... Tried to spy on us hah? And to their surprise... They found ABSOLUTELY. . . *drum roll* NOTHING! Heehee... Naughty hah! We din spy on u guyz.

*YiPpY (Shh...!)*

Phew... Good thing that there's the weekend to do my Art now... But not forgetting that I've gotta study for LocSound test! Lots of editing to do and 1 day to finish it all tomolo! To Mich & Bryan, get ready for our rush hour tomolo!

*Uh-hum... gLaM*

Ze self-proclaim, next-to-be, Russell Wong... R C took this pic...

Photographer: Roy C

The imp-ish look... I think... Or Piglet? *Oh god!*

Bittersweet..

2005-03-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

Thanks liz.. If not for ya, i would have no one to speak to... Some things, are juz so well hidden that only, me, myself, & i can can only knoe. Be it bad or good, joyous or hurtful... I bear those feelings all alone, in the inner me. Well hidden, yet badly perceived... Sometimes, i think i'm a whole made-up person in storytelling, perhaps another weird character...

A character who has secrets & white lies to hide the true person beyond the outer shell; a frail, fragile, and emotional person inside, but a gal who eyes has no tears and holds nothing - juz a smile, to mask away all the pain, and letting the joy leak out bit by bit on the outside. However, how many read her like a book...? Fortunately, none... Silently holding in everything, only a matter of her speaking or not...

Giving up... seems like a wonderful thing.. But Once again.. Being an escapist.. Tempted to try the taste of it... In fact, i smell it so close already... But... i'm not chosen to take that taste once more, so all that's left is bittersweet... Sometimes, like a slash on the neck, other times as sweet as a kiss.

Life is not simple. . .

How r we simple?

*Alarm Systems*

Yah... And today i went to the Singtel shop. Apparantly... Something in my bag kept triggering off their sensor alarm... *bogUs* I wanted to scold them man! Lousy alarm system... Everyone was staring at me and the thing was, i haven't even entered the Singtel shop yet!!! First time, i quickly backed off. 2nd time, i went, "WHAT THE H***!" 3rd time, i totally ignored and walked in. By the 4th time, i tried the silliest thing, throwing my bag out first! I'm nutz... Gonna hit the roof soon...

Where's my suUnsHinE

2005-03-07T21:54:00.000+08:00

*Where's the sunshine?*

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy,
When skys are grey.
You never noticed,
How much I love you.
So please don't take my sunshine away.

The other night dear,
While I was sleeping,
I dreamt I held you in my arms.
But when I awoke dear,
You were not with me,
So I hung my head and cried.

*Monday Blues...*

Dark clouds leading to the beginning of the Monday, foreboding sign perhaps, or i think too much? Sat alone by the steps waiting for Hsien to open the cage, quite lonesome & boring... Weather only threatening to pour down on me. Bit feeling an uncomfortable feeling in the tummy, lousy feeling for me...

And now, back at home...

With the migrain back which i had on Sunday afternoon... And to add to the tab, a fever and slight flu to complement. How magnificent???

How much i wanna ignore the week... juz by sleeping away.. Perhaps, sleep, wake up, bathe, dry hair, sleep... and keep letting this repeat all the way to Saturday. Sounds good to me! Yay! I wanna be an ultimate slacker... NOT! Juz need some nice fresh air and fun.

Sunshine's out & has left the sky in entire darkness, but leaving behind cold, sharp diamonds on the dark, gloomy pathway. So wonderful...

Apologies to all, ya gotta speak up

2005-03-06T01:35:00.000+08:00

2nd day of shooting... Things started kinda slowly. Thinking it over carefully, there's been quite some stuff to be done this week, so everyone's kinda tired, can't help it... I think i did something right at last for all the wrongs that i've done - to get everyone to speak up on all our problems with each other. Juz like in ssc...
But that's the only way, to find out the problems, voice out, speak up, and to listen, to resolve, apologise, realise, and finally... Move on with a better, happier, & much positive attitude.

Doesn't it feel better, when u dun need to guess how others think or feel?
Doesn't it feel better when u hear how one other feels towards a same thing or situation?
Dosen't it feel better to say it out, than keeping it all inside, & silently cursing away?
Doesn't it feel better when u can finally apologise, instead of being helpless or clueless?

To me... these all do make me feel better to find out from the mouth of their own, rather than from another person, or through guessing.. Guessing is very tiring.

Though the truth may be painful, not knowing the truth is even more PAINFUL!

I rather you all let me know, than hide it from me. I rather you all be direct, than to hide behind the bush to speak. PEOPLE who have ANYTHING bothering YOU with REGARDS to ME, please, PLEASE, let me know...

This gal here still needs to on the search on being a better person, so if there's anything, LET ME KNOE...

*To a broken lover*

Not sure if she sees this...

Ya still holding on

to the mirror u've once had,

It dropped and that was the end.

You wanted so badly

to pick up the pieces

which left cuts and wounds all over your hands.

I told ya dun be silly

and to move on for the story

but u refuse to do so...

Lots of Rest

2005-03-04T11:00:00.000+08:00

Phew... 4 days have successfully manage to go by... Thank god man! And yesterday, i managed to get back loads of sleep.. Would say that i'm well recharged. That's good! After all, gonna do our filming today and hope things will go smoothly!

*RAMDOM*

People say that dreams have meanings in them. My dreams mean empowerment - Feeling uncertain and on the search. There are lots of things that i feel lost in, but i'm still searching for the answers. However, i do get lost in my searching at times. Strength, that i lose, comes along with the encouragement of another to make me feel better. At least, that's something good that i've found.

OhhhhhIt seems like

I can finally rest my head on something real

I like the way that feels

Ohhhhh

It's as if you've known me better than I ever knew myself

I love how you can tell

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

Pieces of Me - Ashlee Simpson

I can't sleep

2005-03-02T04:34:00.000+08:00

The time is 4.35am...
Lying on my bed...
Checking:
2 fluffy pillows - Check
1 big blanket - Check
1 blue teddy bear - Check
Handphone(beside) - Check
Aircon - Check

Everything that's suppose to be here, is here. I can't seem to fall asleep. Was pretty tired 10 plus, but i had things to do. Now, been trying to sleep for the past over hours... *Feel like crap!* Can anyone comfort me to sleep next time??

Help... help... HELP! i'm trying so hard to sleep... I'm uttering total nonsense already... Brain lacking of rest - Mentally, physically, & psychologically.

4.43 am... Out... Back to more tossing and turning...

WoOf~ WoOf~

2005-02-28T23:11:00.000+08:00

Dogs are man's BEST FRIENDS! Yup, so i'm fortunate to have a best friend right in my home... *god~ sounds cheezy! Pardon me!* Anyway, i've got a good old buddy who's been around for 2 yrs or so in my home. Yep! Storm!!! My Good old budd and my sister's dearest (2nd to bfs, of coz! ) This is mischievous, playful, temperamental (sHHh!!! juz like my sis), and cool doggie old pal!

*StORm*

Well, as of today, there's another dog in the house now. She juz here on temporary notice only. Sis found her wondering on the streets last nite when she went out. And thanks to mom! We're allowed to have her with us for now till we find her owner. She's quite timid, keeps running away from storm, i would run away from storm too if i was her size! Storms so rough when he tries to play with her, looks as if he's gonna squash her anytime. If the owner doesn't come to get her, we're gonna keep her.
I kinda like her... For now, she's called Summer (well, still thinking of a better name)! Heehee...

*SummeR*

Simple... Dun think too much into her

2005-02-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

On a quiet nite,
looking at the street lights...
i start to ponder
and wonder
about my life...

I start to realise
that at times...
i've lost trust in the human race
seen deceit and lies,
and stabbings in the back.

I've been stabbed, attacked,
and squish down like thrash.
Scolded, yell at, all of these
never less.
I wonder, when will these rest?

Trust, i give,
but fear and shudder.
That behind my back,
u growl and grumble.
Perhaps, waiting for me to roll and tumble?

An imagination that's outta control
Sometimes not sure where it goes.
Perhaps too much bad past
juz makes me lose my trust.
Gonna wake up, stop thinking too much.

I'm juz a regular girl too,
but disturbed by my past for being a fool.
Simple, is all i'm looking for,
Seeking meaning, purpose and more.
Don't think too deep about me.

That's all there is to me,
looking for things to smile about.
Happiness i dream off,
spending time with the one i love.
Trying out exciting hobbies...

*Got no idea...*

i dunno where the heck i'm going or heading on with this... But, i think i haven't lost trust in the people, but... In myself... Lost faith, trust, & the morale to push on. Gotta seek and find... that's what life has always been.

Long (Dragon)

2005-02-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

The Long (Dragon in chinese [surname]) Hainanese Association... A place i've started going to ever since my sis was in primary 2. When i was young, i used to hold on super tight to the handle on the side as i walk up the slanted stairs. I can never forget this staircase, coz it was steep, not exactly built at 90 degrees, and u probably wish there was more room for your feet on every step.

The place has been ard for 100 over yrs. In the past, they used to put up 4 ~5 strings of fire crackers juz outside the 60 over yrs old window of the association (shophouse) and these crackers will keep popping for 2 hours. Other associations on the opposite road used to like to compete against us to see who's celebratory crackers were the best (maybe as in loudest and longest time?).

He also reminded that gathering there to give out the tokens to the kids made it more meaningful (the place has no aircon), instead of at the restaurant that we would go to afterwards. I agree too. Like he said, that's where the "roots" are, where our ancestry had begin from. Thus, we shouldn't forget them.

Well... Sadly, most of my generation has given up on the language. So the chairman spoke in chinese, think they really wanted to speak in hainanese though. But judging from the faces of the rest of the kids and other teens, they wouldn't understand a word. Probably only me and a handful would know? Anyway, the kids were already having blur looks on their faces with chinese language, so why make it worse?

Access Denied!

2005-02-19T11:10:00.000+08:00

A sad and touching piece of music plays at the back of my mind...

A girl of the age of less than sweet 16 sits at the back of the computer monitor with her furrows creased as she types away furiously on the keyboard. The sound of her typing fills the silence in the room. Massive dots, lines, and numbers appear on the black screen. She pauses for awhile, as the computer language stops appearing for a second. Blink~! "Password denied", she clenches her fist at the reply and grits her teeth in frustration. She spins around in her chair and back faces the com. Closing her eyes, she sit there quietly.

"Girl ah~! Time for dinner dear!" exclaims the rough voice of a woman.
"Yes, yes... Coming soon..." Lith answers in a some what irritated tone.

She looks out of the window. The sun is glaring, but the leaves still sway slightly. She hears some soft chirping of birds and the squealing of voices of excited children. A group of kids are playing. A boys stands facing the tree with his eyes close; the rest of the kids scatter off on their own. One boys squats behind a trash can, another boy runs towards the opposite block and hides behind a wall, and a girl grins to herself as she climbs into a bush and has herself well hidden.

Lith smiles to herself. She knows exactly what is happening. Once again she turns back to face her computer and types away with an impish grin across her face. "And lastly, ENTER!" she says to herself. Contentedly, the girl smiles and calls out, "Mom, what's for dinner?" She presses a button and switches off the com. Pushes herself out of her chair and heads towards the door. Turning the knob, she opens the door. Just when she's about to step out, she turns back and looks at her com. Her lips curl up slightly. Then she closes the door behind her.

To Be Continued...

*Busy - random thoughts*

Though pretty busy, everyone kinda needs to find time to rest and relax... To catch a breathe, look around, and tell yourself that life is still wonderful. Wonderful in the sense that ya much betta off than many others out there.

I've got good and true friends, i got true support, i got food and a roof over my head still, and i got a good buddy. So things are good. Though i have to admit that i dun like too much things at one go, i'm more of the happy-go-lucky kind...

2005-02-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

YOU BLOODY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The accusation, the questioning, the blaming...

AND LASTLY...

FOR DOUBTING!!!

The rushing of blood into my cheeks gives an angry sting at the very thought of your words! Your lack of understanding makes my heart throb in ange! Thinking of your unkind and sarcartic tone makes me feel sick in the stomach! But the hurt you drive into me sends burning tears that stream down in fury... !

She didn't forget about the birthday, not this time nor the previous one of another. She had plans, but lack the capital. Juz hours ago, she remembers the people asking her to help out on some particular day. No, she refuses to help, coz it's someone's special day. Yes... Juz hours ago, she said to herself, she'll go for the special day.

Back home she returns, from a day which ends off tiring & feeling lousy. She forgets her dates and day. Not knowing next thursday was the day. Victim 1 gets piss off for her blur and forgetfulness at tired moment! She is not spared either. Over 1 bloody question! "What time r you free?" She can't think of exact answer. Instead, she wants a time for her, for her to set herself free. Accuses of my attitude, scolds me for asking, be sarcastic over the previous other person's one that i missed!

IDIOTIC!!! I'M TIRED! EXHAUSTED! IT'S NOT THAT I DUN WANT TO COME!!!

IT'S NOT THAT I DUN CARE... I'M TIRED! I OVERSLEPT ON THE TRAIN!

I HAD PROJECT THE LAST TIME, SO I MISSED HIS BIRTHDAY, SO...?

YAH! IT'S MY OWN PROB THAT I'M TIRED RITE?? I JUZ WANT REST!!

CAN'T U SPARE ME? I'M BEEN SICK FOR SO LONG.. YET U DUN CARE

IT FEELS MISERABLE... THAT I THINK U'VE JUZ TOOK OUT YOUR STRESS ON.... ME!

YAH.. i wanted to leave early, i knew i was tired. But u all wanted, or rather i am expected to stay on. Told me i can sleep later... Guess what? I overslept... by the time i got up, it took me 2 mins before i could fully regain all scenses to realise i've passed my station!!! Lousy incident, good enough to make it lousy day. Tired...

OUT...

2005 V-day

2005-02-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

This day, spent in school...

More editing, more crapping, more laughing, and more making merry~!

But if i was at my old job...

More serving customers, more cutting of flowers, more bouquets for me to do, more orders to take down, more money transactions than the usual, more hectic than ever~!

But still... ya can laugh, joke, smile, and tok crap! But MOST important... Dun mess up the orders!!!

I miss the hydrangeas, miss my job, miss Jamie's artistic bouquets, miss the flowers...
But somehow... Having received some bouquets of flowers before, i've never been happy with anyone of them. Yet some people, get so excited over it... why??? But i'm happy to get my flowers of my own which i pay for myself...

Anyway, i thank thee who have accompanied me for dinner, especially since i did not have a single proper food or meal all day! Thanks for companying me to dinner. . .

HAPPY VALENTINE'S

DAY!!!

The Reunion Dinner...

2005-02-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

When all was seated... Things felt weird... There, yet not there. Here, yet not here. Awkward? Perhaps... I din know what was the right thing to do, be charitable or giving a taste of your own medicine? In the end, though my conscience said, "Come on, it's CNY after all~", I chose not to speak. Not to decide & most prob, ignore.
Well... Ya abandoned responsibility, then ya have abandoned family as well.

*YuMmY*

Steamboat... Great for a cold night and good for the stuffy nose gal too! Tis food wouldn't have been on the table if not for God, and our late night purchase of food at 1.30 AM on Monday (plz dun do tt next yr!), & of coz! Mom's hard work for preparing the food and soup! Yeah!

No greasy food!

No weird dishes by Grandma!

No usual dishes Grandma ALWAYS makes!

Best Part: LOTS of SOUP! =)

And probably the only way to sit down and face each other for a meal when everyone's so caught up with their own stuff...

*Home*

Not visiting any relatives for the first day, only gathering on 2nd day. Mom's surprised that i'm home and not going out with friends to do some visiting or whatever else... Kept asking me, "Really? U sure u not going out tomolo?" -_-'' Ya... I'm home, no skool, not going out! Perhaps juz snuggle in bed, do any assignments or stuff that are due. But, i'm pretty certain that some ppl might come to my place... Let's see... i guess 3 families...

*Lastly*

When dinner was over, i thought i could happily juz sit ard. But NO! More cleaning up was to come... I've already been cleaning for 3 days, i think. Oh well... However, the FINAL CLEAN UP was WELL DONE! So good that the living room seems to have so much space. And i think i muz have hit a record of my own for throwing 30 over bags of RUBBISH! Out of which, at least half of it is all my nonsense.

Mom already gave me an Ang Bao... *WoaH~!* I asked her why so early this yr, then her reply was "Ya Shui Qian"... K... Nvm... Some cheena customs which i sure am uncertain with.

LASTLY... HAPPY CHINESE NEW YR & WISH YA GD LUCK IN THE YR TO COME!

I got enuff of this

2005-02-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

Yes... Perhaps the doctor words have made some sense now. IT IS a PESKY part of my life... IT IS irritating ME... IT IS even WORSE to be on drugs so so very often...

Gonna visit my doctor soon. . .

To settle this...

ONCE & FOR ALL!!!

*STUPID SINUS!*

Move on from tis day~!

2005-02-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

The past was a moment that kept reliving over and over
Run and run and no escape ever...
Hiding in darkness
Allowing no light on her face
No one knew of tears her heart cried

She ran in and ran out
shouting so loud,
but there was no help.
Left alone,
to live her fears on her own.

Now that the sun has shine on her path
you choose to walk along.
I'm sorry,
But i've waited too long.
And i have moved on...
To U the same - Olivia

*Hmff...*

Ya knoe what? I think i have that vulgarity-rush all of sudden that i wanna spill on my this entry. Yes... i haven't finish my IR-RI-TA-TING editing which is due so SO SOON... And before i could finish at least the scenes editing TODAY... the... Too-Pid computer had to JAM on the program! WAH~ so WON-DER-FUL... But... At least, bryan & i still think that editing was pretty fun after we got out of the room.

*Another big NO NO...*

Got home, was spared from making tarts, reason being that her highness was tired and it was late to start baking as we may probably end up baking till 2am if we did. So... I was SPARED! Thank you! Thank you! However, no running away from Mrs naggy, of coz!

Mrs Naggy: Do u think the pineapple balls (as in the amt of pineapple 4 each tart) is too big?

Untactful gal: Ok la... I think maybe it's a bit too big...

Mrs Naggy: What to do??? It's like that when NOBODY WANT TO DO!!!

Untactful gal: (Blur look) ??? What was Lucas doing?

Meanwhile... Sister is sitting at the table with a big pile of paper.

Looks like she is studying for an exam...

Take note: She hardly revises her work. Maybe not hardly, but DUN at all. Face it people, most of us are LIKE THAT!

Mrs Naggy: Yah... He's sleeping now. He got school tomolo...

Untactful gal: (like he couldn't help earlier be4 he sleep) Then sis?

Mrs Naggy: Think she got test... Dunno la...

Untactful gal: Is it?

Goes over to sister... Peers over to see... HEY! Looks like she got no exam k~!

Untactful gal: Got an exam coming up?

Angry gal: Erm... HEY! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

*Not pleasant*

Yah... After a long day, still got such nonsense... Haiz... Nvm... Maybe juz tired, so i'm being fussy. So Sh*ty! Hmff...

The Dress... More new yr shopping...

2005-02-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

With a cheeky grin,
he climbs slowly.
Peers over the window with the brown railings...

[Yawn] She stirs. Blinking her eyes,
she sits up.
Bright rays of sunlight shine in,
litting up the room gradually with time.

The ends of those lips curl up slightly.
He smiles brightly.
The moon frowns as he leaves...

*Da Blue Dress...*

Went on a trip to Orchard to look for clothes by instructions of the highness... Hmm... lol. So i was walking around just browsing through the shops that i didn't see the last time. Ah! But i saw this blue dress with flora print yesterday which i liked SO much, but the right size was sold out. =(

Of coz! It kinda came to my mind again today~! I muz be nutz... Plus i can't believe that I, me, would like a DRESS so so much! So weird...! So... after visiting a few shops and having hopes on looking for that dress. Eventually, found it~ =)

*The people*

Heehee... met rachel at far east. And this woman fell asleep while reading her newspaper on the train, which was kinda funnie. Coz she accidentally stuffed part of her newspaper into her mouth when she fell asleep. Feeling bit of mischief, i wanted to pretend to hit her papers on accident and give her a shock. Wahaha! Heehee... Nah... But i did nudge her hand a little to wake her coz it didn't look nice to have drool on her papers.

-Then it'll be same like last time

Like keeping things to yourself-

-So if there's any problems to come

I know that i'm not alone...

Her... & He...

2005-02-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

Her...
Fear fills the heart & soul of the very thought
a shiver runs in the nerves as i type.
If there is suffering to face
she said she'll walk alone...

She wouldn't want to walk with you
Selfish, perhaps, but not you.
Not knowing what a lonely road is,
all the thoughts are not to drag you into it.

Problems she decide that you don't deserve
Uncertainty fills, but only time will tell.
She's not selfish...
But you mean so much...

He...
He speaks little, but cares much.
Just hopes for the better as well.
But if there is suffering to face,
He'll walk with her.

He'll not let her walk alone
and he'll hold her hands.
Give her warmth and comfort
and help out along.

Silly girl, he feels.
How can she think like this.
But he will not leave
He'll walk every step, with her...

But a past...

2005-01-29T23:29:00.000+08:00

The one who decided on casting upon thou as a stranger
spoke once more...
Kinder with words used
and wanting to hear the voice
of the one that gave pain so dearly.
Yet would not say a word in sound
but silently listen...

Had wondered why this person talks
When filled with fury and hate
he would not speak.
I knew of another who felt sad
and lonely. She cried out loud
waiting for your sweet attention
but you ignored...

Why? Why so contradicting?
A girl that gives so much for you
is waiting...
Go to her and get out from the past.
So much jealousy that burns
just needs one to put out those flames
Someone is... Nothing...

But a past...

Olivia

What AGE do Ya ACT???

2005-01-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

You Are 12 Years Old

12
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

*HaHa...*

Can't imagine, 12 only? Juz feeling bored, so did this thing. Lol... Tried it again a second and third time by changing 1 answer for one particular question. Guess how old? HAHA... 14!!! Well.. 12? Hmm.. Is it cause of the playful, mischievous, & impish side of me?? Or coz i can't take care of myself well?? What-ever... So ppl, can't help it, but ya gotta be prepared to tolerate any childish nonsense at times~ Nah... I'll try to control this side of me. Gd Luck... =x

Fun @ SAM

2005-01-25T23:51:00.000+08:00

Boo! Haha... Getting bit lame... K! Yay, the test is over! Good! Haha... But as for the results... Uh~hum... Went to SAM with some of them, after copying all the president names in SDAR. Goodness... At that moment of copying down their names and numbers, tt felt like forever! Yah... And my stoopid nose of mine can't stop sneezing and drippin (ee... cut gross details) Sickening!

*bOo Ya!*

So unprepared to go SAM, i din even have the questions. Nvm... There were interesting art pieces which i think were pretty worthwhile to take the time to appreciate them. Some perhaps bit of disturbing, some really detail and intricate. =) Hey~! And there's some hands-on stuff around in SAM. Heehee... Fun~! Drawing whiteboards, paper cuttings, and colouring etc. Looks like Roy & I got into the mood of SIM city. With squishy coloured blocks representing a certain type of building, we got down to laying roads, placing buildings, ponds, and park. Oh Ya... Developer Chan says i got bad sense of placement... Lol... I wasn't placing the buildings near the roads... Fun~ Reminds me of Kindergarden... Lol

*Sharing...*

Good times - Happy, joyous, beautiful, times to celebrate, deserve a big cheer, passion, love, times to congratulate, nice starts, the times together...

Yah... Wonderful times that should be shared, at least. Some ppl maybe lonely, but there'll be someone there, perhaps waiting for them to come and share those time with them.

Bad times - Angry, tension, quarrels, conflicts, ugly, hate, pain, sulky moments, upsetting times, lonely, tears, heart aching moments...

Maybe not leaving, rejection, & breakup for the bad times list... Though ppl are always sharing good times, i wanna be there during the bad times too. Hey~ Not that i'm hoping for bad times in everyone's life. But to be there whether Up or down, haPpY or sad, gLad or frustrated... Coz these are the times that someone shd be there, to listen, to care, to bring a cheer to the heart...

2 weeks of so-called break ahead...

2005-01-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

Last week before the semester break has gone by too... Had the LocSound test which gave me a really painful bump on the head. Why? The stressful gal couldn't hear anything from the earphones and she was so caught up with it that she ended up walking into the wall... How brilliant? Ah! And what happened to the so-called 36 photographs on display? Only saw 24. And that picture of mine... I still can't understand it very well actually... Wonder what is it about it~

*FilminG*

Bryan was a really great host... gave us place to rest, food to eat, and made sure we were comfy. Big thanks to him. And thanks to the rest who were able to bear with any nonsense that i gave. And sorry in advance first k, my camera techniques are really bad... I also know that some time towards the end of the night, we were getting so restless and tired. Well, let's hope the hard work pays off.

*Study*

Exams are here, time to study for everyone. Well, some, got loads of stuff to do, but gotta relax, dun get too stress and all the best! Time really flies, got a note carina... A really good friend/ junior during primary skool time. She & Debbie are now studying in Innova Jc, as for me, Fsv for those who know. Fsv ain't mass comm for some ppl's info. Anyway, time has went pass so quickly. Remembering the time we sat in the skool bus, laughing and joking away. The times we teased each other, haha... or rather... I got most of the teasing. Lol... Haha... Anyway, i'm glad they're doing well.

*Random Thoughts*

Can you imagine what money can do? Buy loads of stuff, get ya food, a house, comfort, and all the things that money can buy. But while money can do all this, money is still the root of all evil. When he has money, ya nothing but a tyrant, a notorious tiger, thinking that money can push everyone down to their knees. Or even, squashing them beneath your feet. Once the money leaves, ya juz shut up, act ignorant of your terrible doings, ending up as a quiet cat that sneaks around with footsteps heard. What irony ya cause...

Ya seem to hate me, act like i'm your jinx, perhaps the bane of your life... Whatever, i dun care. But at the same time, i dun understand. Well... What-ever

The anger, the almost hate... The controllable feelings.

2005-01-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

Why? Why? Perhaps there was suppose to be a change, but i didn't know what was it suppose to be like. Once again, storytelling with Mr Y has set me on the "realisation" road. I searched deep in my memory, but i realised that i didn't see both of them in the picture. Juz individual angry, moments of frustrations, irritance by a particular one's pressense, and nothing sweet or happy. Where were they? Plus no longer did i see the picture of these 2 people together. Both individuals of their own, not an item. A conversation between the 2, if still together, was to be a heated one for sure. Why? For his irresponsibility and hot-tempered nature and for her... She had enough of that.

*Sis in me*

I know i may not be a good example, may be always on the road of escaping, always trying to get away from home, not doing things that i should... Am forgetful, blur, bit lazy, procrastinate tons at times... Can be pretty fierce, irritating, sickening, annoying as well... I do care bout what's left of the family. Bro can be very lazy, does things not the way all primary skool kids shd be doing (sleep early is one of it), petty sometimes... Seriously, i can't control him. I try to advise on him, help him in ways that i can. While he respects and listens ocassionally, he doesn't listen entirely. So... Give me a break! Dun always scold me for what he doesn't do. I've told u all so MANY TIMES, but u all still dun get it. Dun come and be fierce with me, it won't work! Juz like the way my words dun work on him.

*Home*

I can't deny, but i am envious of the way most people's family are going. It's not the money, the things they have or not at times. But the SIMPLE things they share, their love, care, and together-ness that is juz amazing. I wonder what it is like... But it sure looks really happy to me. Simple, not as in plain, dull, nothing special. But as in SIMPLE, without complicated problems or conflicts, lesser quarrels perhaps? It looks all so SWEET. I wonder if my "own" other family in the years to come will be HAPPY. Happy is a simple word, but it's the smiles on the faces that matter.

Song posted in next post...

The Girl who smiled so Sweetly...

2005-01-13T23:39:00.000+08:00

Attention: Running colour change test!
Of a young tender age of six
Her skies never seemed grey
Deep dimple when she smiled
Bright lit in her eyes

But as life moved on
Things took a turn
Sweet sixteen was bitter
A rough route was path

Dark clouds covering the light
Rain pattering down on leaves
Streets of no people walking
The girls was sobbing deeply...

::True True::

Sigh... Been facing it... But... I think i'm still tasting the bitter taste of it. Sometimes, i juz doubt myself. Asking myself, when i smile or laugh, am i really happy? Why when i'm sad, i can't cry it out? Why sometimes i give big reactions to people, is it i'm letting pain out in a different manner?

*Bits and pieces*

Thx Bulb... For leaving the msg. The bits and pieces do make out the ME now. But even though the bit and pieces make the you YOU. The thing is how many people know who are you? Do they know what you are? Can they all understand? Will they accept you? And for yourself to ask yourself: Are you good or are you bad? Maybe i'm wrong about what i think... But i think these are the crucial questions.

*gReEn*

What's green? Is it juz a colour? Or is it a feeling? Or leaves on a tree? Perhaps the paint that goes over our walls? Perhaps it makes endless grass that rolls over the meadows? Then again, perhaps it's the worst of all... Jealousy? Envy? I dun like neither one of those feelings. Yet felt them both before... Trust me... Their tough to get rid of, till ya truly convinced.

Memories, cold, and tenderness

2005-01-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

*thoughts tt simply can't be expressed*

While bearing in mind of Mr Y's words tt most stories are always personal in his case. Lots of thoughts kept coming at me. Sadly... all those memories and flashbacks in my mind reminded me of pain, pain, & MORE pain... Things i kinda regret, wish i never did them, and wonder why i couldn't avoid them? Yes... Those are the Yester-days... It stills aches when i think or see them before my eyes! They still haunt me when i hear the words or get reminded of them! Yes... I still feel it even though years, months, or days have passed...

But...
I still try to forget them, act as if i'm numb. Pretend i did not hear or see. Act ignorant of their haunting pressense. And not let them drive me nutz. On many occasions, i wonder... How would it be like to forget everything when i wake up the next day?
-Would i smile really happily out of the heart that those yester-days were washed away?
-Or would i wake up in agony that people around me have memories & stories to tell?
-Or would an Ass or 2 realise that they wanna drive the bitter taste back?
I only wonder... But many a times, wish tt i'll start a fresh.

*Cold...*

It seemed rather cold...

In search of the warmth and concern, it turned its back on me.

Cold and no reaction given.

Ouch! I felt a pinch. Quite a painful bit.

But i understood truly that i should not speak.

In the cold...

It burn as i tried to seek.

Then seeing an intercept she rose to her feet.

Ouch! I was beat. From closest to furthest.

But i understood truly that u'll not be convince

Left in the cold...

Only few were around me.

But you dare not speak or move a bit

Ouch! This act is tough and also pretty rough

But i understood truly that's the way it'll be...

*feeling tt lie more deep*

After puking a whole lot... All that poison in ze stomach was definitely all purged out! How I felt? Like crap man! Haha... But in a MUCH positive sense (YAh! Like real~), it was good exercise running from classes to toilets. *wtH?* Back home, reduced to plain porridge and pickles. But rewarded with My FAV! MANGO pudding... Seriously... I think i wasn't supposed to eat that. But Hey! What the Hack man? It's Mango... I juz can't resist...

-If music be the food of love, play on;

Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,

The appetite may sicken, and so die.

That strain again! it had a dying fall:

O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,

That breathes upon a bank of violets,

Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:

'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.-

Duke Orsino - Twelfth Night (William Shakespeare)

Yeah... Friday's coming...

2005-01-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

*Beginning of the Week*

Come to the point where ya feel mentally drained...? And It affects ya physically... Allowing ya to believe in it psychologically? Letting ya feel incompetant, insecure, unsatisfied, & displeasured by the way things are going. All the world around ya is moving & moving... As for ya, YOU'RE stopping & not going anywhere! Ya question why things are the way it is now & why not the way ya want it to be. I'm tired... Tired of running alone to find where & how things roll out on their own... TIRED... of myself...

*Went thru Pep talk*

Feeling bit better now... But still on alert mode to make sure things go right. But been pretty tired quite early these days... Hmm... Maybe i need more sleep this week? Really wonder why i end up wanting to sleep so early these days?! Oh well~! Thanks to the pep talk from my dear Dr! He got me feeling bit happier and a bit more optimistic bout things. Well, what will i do without him?

*Word Vomit~*

Ya know gossips are word vomit... Once ya start, ya can't stop! And ya juz keep going on and on... Oh! That gal in tennies...!!! Hey!!! *WORD VOMIT!* Then ya pause for awhile... The other day ah, i saw this gal flirting...!!! Ya caught! *WORD VOMIT!* Then ya decide to stop... Suddenly, ya burst! Damn it! I like that...! Got ya AGAIN! *WORD VOMIT ALERT!* Gotta be careful and dun gossip, it's really really bad. . . . .

*Feelings*

Grateful, touched, and appreciative of the things that you done. I was thinking of a story in which this guy kept delaying on telling this gal that he liked her. Till it came to the day that he'll never have the chance to tell this gal how much he loved her and how much she meant to him ever again. Thinking it over... I betta cherish those around me. Tell them how much they mean to me... How much i love them... And how much i yearn for a hug from them...

2005 :: New Yr ::

2005-01-01T11:59:00.000+08:00

A New Year has come... However, during the last few days of Yr 2004, some unfortunate events have taken place. While we're trying to look forward to a betta upcoming year ahead of us, let's try to help others who are going through a tough time now. I pray and wish that anyone out there who's having a tough time now, will get through it...

*PRAYING*

The last few hours of 2004 were hmm... Let me get into it first... Like last week, we spent Xmas Eve with Miss Melanie having intro2film tutorial. This week, tt was going to be no exception either! Got myself to skool for 1 -3pm with the rest of T1A3 who sat through it together. Then went to eat Mac with Wendy, Bryan, Isaac, & Roy. Most ppl had their own program. But from the eve to the new year, i was kept well fed, well rested, & HAPPY! =)

*Last few hours...*

Haha... A simple dinner. Yeah... And fancy counting down in the elevator? lol... Yes, counting down in the elevator. Haha... I've really tone down this year man... Lesser partying around, not going for countdowns (surprising!), and lesser Orchard area visiting. Wah... Muz have tone down by alot! Even Mich went to countdown, guess my havoc dayz are quite over. Haha... But MOST important thing i've realise about these celebrations & stuff, is the COMPANY you'll get. Great company, TRUE frenz & Loved ones... THESE are the things i've been seeking for. And i've gotten some which i'm glad & touched!

*2005*

Got lots of thoughts for 2005... i'll try to keep it short & sweet.

1. Do well in my studies for myself & mom

2. Dun let anyone down this year

3. Get my share of work done properly, be it project or SSC

4. Stand up on my 2 feet from the demoralising First Aid course matter

5. Be a GOOD daughter, sis, friend, member, secretary or any other role

6. Truthful to the ones i love & cherish dearly

7. Be more confident in myself

8. Hope tt some person moves, so tt i can look forward to Home

9. Control my awful temper & BE MORE RESPONSIBLE !!

10. Peace, safety, and good health for all the people that i know

11. Able to express sadness when i feel sad

12. Get myself into some sports, exercise more...

Woah!! Gotta catch a breathe! That's ALOT of stuff... Some beyond my control, some i gotta work like a pig to reach tt goal, while some... Already doing it, but i wanna do it better.

::Lastly::

Thank you for all those people who went through yr 2004 with me... whether good or tough times. Of coz, I dun thank some ppl who gave me a miserable time which i dread with my life.

But thank you for those:

who were with me, taught me, guided me, companied me, loved me, helped me to stand up on my 2 feet, listened to my woes, went through my joys, brought me smiles & laughter, *& the one that showed me to have no fear to love again...

-Sieze the Day~!-

Lots of Love & well wishes to ALL!

Olivia

Quiet... Foreboding...

2004-12-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

Took the time to look around again...
The skies were grey and gloomy
Green grass rolling over the pavements
Small trees which stood tall and strong
The flowers were wilting... Crying
of shades of yellow and brown.

The streets were quiet and empty
Cars drove and went passing by
Occasional strangers met me at eyes
Expressionless and seemingly emotionless
But their hearts were burning with problems

To be like a feather, i wish
Light and gentle
So much that i can easily float
and follow the wind
Lift me off and carry me... Away
Olivia

*tired... of being me*

Why do they say so much? Did it matter? I dun mind, but dun be like a b*tch. Mind your own life and juz s*ck on it! There're these times when i knoe i juz gotta do some things and yet inside, i'm saying run away & scram!! Run! Run! RUN!!! But then again, i knoe i can't... Not that i cannot, but myself tells me tt i shouldn't & so i keep forcing. It's like totally playing mental games with myself, debating with 2 mindsets, or even like good vs bad in the head. So? Gotta quick figure it & get into ze action, before i screw up... Before things get ugly... Before i crack up.

*Ya such a sweety*

When i'm low & down, there's someone there. Cheers me up & brings a warm smile to my face. When there problems, ya try your best to listen. I probably dun do much or my best in return.. Probably? I dun know... But ya like my angel... Sweet & caring... And life would have been so different without you.

Lonely & empty... Without a true one to be with.

Times when i need to escape and nowhere to head to...

Times when i wanna cry, yet i can't & no one to speak to

Ya muz be an angel! Even if ya not or u say ya aren't one, at least... in me, to me... U are an Angel.

BUT me... Juz an imp... An imp, not a devil no more...

(chorus)

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for a while

To know you're there

A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream?

And isn't faith believing

All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me

Everyday-

To Where You Are - Josh Groban

2004 Christmas

2004-12-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

I recall...
The little gal who looked up at the Christmas tree which looked so huge then (about 2~3 floors tall). On it, hung many candy canes. Each day, the restaurant would refill the candy canes on the tree and kids were allowed to take a few as they wished. The staff were friendly (maybe coz their society made them to be or the festive season), courteous, and joyful. It was a morning. A christmas day morning... The place wasn't so pack then. The little gal walked up to the tree with glee and help herself to the candy canes. They were mostly in red-and-white, while some had other colourful stripes. What most struck her was this particular one that was not a cane shape, but it was a ring (something of the size that your fist can go thru). She turned around and smile at them. They were sitted at the table having breakfast together. Happy, they waved. Slowly... they're fading...

*Christmas time*

I kinda haven't been spending much of the Christmas time at home for all these years. I would help to prepare the Special meal, have it with them, and take my leave. Leaving to go to crazy countdowns or squeezing my way in Orchard. But.. i never forget them. However, i suddenly felt that i've been escaping... Escaping all these years. Coz when i wake up from my dreams, i see the cracks and the broken pieces which will never fix together. I wake up to a living nightmare and look at other "them"s in envy. Christmas... Has been missing that totally wholesome warm these years. But still, i cherish what's left and gotta try to... stop escaping...

*How was your Xmas tis yr?*

I got...

A pink wallet (Heh heh... from my sis)

A sweet pair of butterfly earrings with cookies (awww... Thx Liz!)

A cute blue bear with sweets (Sweet~!)

Well... it's not about what i get... But on a serious note, i dun think i realli have anything on my wishlist this year. Even the bag which i've been saying that i needed, which still isn't quite necessary yet, isn't on the list either. It's juz empty. And i dun need anything. Have i got everything? I wouldn't think so... But juz simply contented. That's it... =)

*thx 4 tis christmas*

Had a Christmas Eve dinner with my family. Hmm.. On the table was, a turkey, a bowl of salad, turkey stuffing, pork chop, and gravy. Yepz... Thx god for the food on my table for that day and every other day. While food was on the table, effort put into it was really much lesser compare to ze last few years, still... thankful tt there's food! And I watched Kungfu Hussle produced by Stephen Chow. It was so hilarious, especially their chasing scene. PLS DO WATCH IT! Not so much of another typical comedy or kungfu movie. Got more fresh ideas in it which juz tells ya tt ya gotta watch it once more! Christmas day spelled out abit of Maple Story and to juz cuddle up on the sofa and enjoy the peaceful day with loads of greeting sms-s from all your gd buddies & frenz. Yeay... Long entry... Sorry bout it...

-On the first day of Christmas

My true love sent to me

A partridge in a pear tree...-

12 days of Christmas

Something is missing & christmas is so close!

2004-12-23T23:38:00.000+08:00

Christmas is already here... But i juz realised what felt so missing... So for the last 2 years, i have a terrible Christmas. First one, i had to cheer someone up despite how upset i was over a quarrel, maybe tt ain't that bad coz i brought Christmas to someone else. As for last year's, tt was so so wrong a decision i made which i regret and had to gone through torture & torment for almost 8 months... And Now! This yEar! Something's missing... Or have i given up on a happy christmas already?!

*You...*

Being angry, i turned and left

Fell down & decided to go back

Yet when ya were not there

I fret...

Almost burst

When i couldn't find you

Then i realised

How much I missed you.

*Mrs M*

Where are you?

Sometimes i see you

But ya not there.

The hearts seems to have gone somewhere

Where am i on that ramking stand?

Where are you?

I so so much miss you...

All i want is my old mommy back

Where have you taken her to?

Who are you?

I've tried to respect her decision on you

Yet it feels like she's left

Who are you compared to us?

I miss you

Where's the gentle, loving you?

Why you giving us attitude?

Will you come back soon?

To her (though she won't be reading this), i've tried to come up with reasons for ya. But's i'm running out and even i am feeling the same way too. Or are thinking too much...?

-Love with all yer' heart

But dun let it suck thy life outta ye!-

Olivia

Colour me hair...

2004-12-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

Went to skool for IS modules as usual. Unfortunately, i got to Sports & Wellness late, which resulted in a 10 sit-up punishment (Wahahaha! No kick man!). Someone suggested cart-wheels (NuTz), while i said running - which of coz got ze BIG "NO! NO!" response... lol. Oh well, betta not have road accident next week, or everyday even. Lives shouldn't get wasted like that! Then for Start a Business, Mr L for on MC, so he basically said nothing at all, except for flashing slides. So that alls!

*Snip Snip...*

Promised Eush that i'll go for a haircut with him since last week, so... Been looking forward to the sorta exciting haircut trip. Had not much of any idea on whether i should highlight or dye. I admit, i'm a chicken when it comes to issues of my hair. I juz love my hair so so much that i would rather do nothing to it, then to see it dry & freezy! So Mr Dominic... He's almost graduating at ze Haircut studio, got to his work on consulting me of what i would like. He had to know what colour, what hair style, or what other stuff i wanted for my hair. So there were so many COLOURS! Wow! Didn't know what would suit me, anyway, my hair almost became Purple Black... But its not. Heh heh

*Tough time hah?*

The "principal" in a way kept checking on them as they were trying their best. Think its pretty stressful, she's like a vulture, juz waiting to attack. The cut turned out nice, but the highlighting took a long time... *damn* (was running late...) But no choice, it was a appointment first, so i can't possibly walk out half way. Wah! The highlighting seemed difficult, gotta make sure it's nice & properly wrap the hair with that foil. Not easy man.. But the haircut trip took an extremely long time, resulted in me not going for ssc. Sorry to those in ssc... I'm realli sorrry!

Yay! But i like the new hair style!! Juz like it... Hopefully it's not "ah lian" or like isaac says, "unglam!!!" lol... Sleepy... Gotta sleep man...

Heh heh... I got a pretty partner for

Tennies!!! Heehee... So nice looking!

Roles in life...

2004-12-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

The Heart aches...
Seen so much pain & suffered from so much tear.
Can it handle anymore? Or will it breakdown & fall?
In silent, it burns... Which no one will learn.
Yet now as it remains, calm and sane.
It prays... For a each brighter day.

*Roles in life*

My life is like a Drama. So many roles that i'm in... Sometimes good, sometimes bad. It juz makes me wonder, who am i? Which is the real me? And do you really know me??

One of them i live a lie, that nobody may know it's truth behind. A person who's far away, that i actually see almost each day. Yet a lie that i can't speak or say, as i'm not the mastermind.

Another i play, i hide. I hide in my words and lies that keep some in wonder. Does it matter that you know? No, i think, i don't think so. Of some who pressed far, have managed to seek. Hide-and-seek, that's my trick.

Trying to archieve, is the other i play. I strive and tried very hard to the point that i've breakdown and cried. Perhaps its fate? That this ladder, i can't climb. I'm tired, but still trying. Hoping to proof that I can & have something to believe in myself. Yet, the very own blood & flesh, jeers and hopes i crash. Something's so missing, please stop dissing me!

Free spirited and happy-go-lucky. If my entire life was like that, would it be boring? I smile and play, like the wild horses that run free. Seeking pure happiness is like all i ever need. Don't get me diamonds or expensive things, juz be caring and nice, the simplest things i wish.

So many more, i think, but i can't name them all. Just tell me, tell me, which one is the real me that you know...

6 days to Christmas & everyone's busy SHOPPING

2004-12-19T23:27:00.000+08:00

Chill out whatcha yelling' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be you will see
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin' in your car
And you're talking to me one on one but you've become

*Christmas crowds*

It's christmas time again this year. People are busy shopping and the malls are infested all over. Loads of kids running up and down, while parents have their hands all tied up with things. So it's all so crowded everywhere, then where ya going this year? Spending it home with your family? Or still going down to Orchard to paint the town the red? Or maybe chiong away all nite & get wasted? How about spending it with some friends and celebrating the joyous moment?

Somebody else round everyone else

You're watching your back like you can't relax

You're tryin' to be cool you look like a fool to me

Tell me

*I pray thy all a Better time...*

I think i wanna get away from the crowds this year, i've gone down to town for 4 times of Christmas countdown. Spent 2 last miserably unhappy christmas for 2002 & 2003... I still love Christmas, but i wish i was at somewhere else... Somewhere, where i see my smiles and be far away from ze painful times...

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?

I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated

Life's like this you

And you fall and you crawl and you break

And you take what you get and you turn it into honesty

And promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it

No No No

Complicated - Avril Lavigne

*No game, juz read...*

Decided tt it was time to dun play around, juz settle down, and read how the ppl i know are doing in their lives... Tried to tag when possible, whether juz to let them know my presense was there or to disturb them (Muahaha!!!) But nevertheless, they cool peeks! Take Care! Trying to write some Christmas cards... Haha... Will either post and personally hand them, no address books... Oh well, why i even bother? Coz handwritten cards juz always seem more personal still...

Ze sand, sea, and Seafood

2004-12-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

Rainy Rainy Day... Waves keep folding in despite how wet & damp the sand is. The swallowing sound of each wave is being hidden by the splattering drops. Each drop falls down violently and crashes its fate onto the wooden planks.
High and above the Rest... The breeze keeps coming from behind. People seems so small as they walk pass below my feet. On my left, he silently falls asleep, rest is all he needs. On the right, a wooden piece with carvings, one that friends once read. The sky of pastel blue faints slowly to crimson above me. Outside is juz a calm and soothing feeling is felt. While inside, a sweet and lovely tune is played.
Speech comes from the mouth... Without thought and heart sometimes, we speak senseless, nonsensical, and ridiculous crap. But we may not mean what we say. However, what's said at times juz can't be taken back. I try my best to break the silence for all, unless they talk alot, i'll answer and rest. I've grown tired of speech, silence seems so sweet. I'll take my leave, excuse me please.

*Fishy Dinner*

Met the ex-SSC com for dinner with the SSC com. Juz a casual dinner. But an expensive one at Fish & Co. Seafood platter for 2 became for 3 instead. lol... But 3 of us sharing 1 still did make us pretty STUFFED up. Yay! And the Calamari was fantastic... Yummy... Muz go there again when i'm feeling bit richer. And did a tini bit of Christmas Shopping. Hope I made ze right decision. Thought 1 of it look pretty sweet for... As for ze other... hmm... wait and see.

-One bite & you're hooked!-

Fish & Co.

Feelings of good and bad

2004-12-17T23:12:00.000+08:00

Slacking... Yes, I am! Lazy... sorry, but it's in me. Fear... I always think & imagine too much.
Yup, been very slacky on the blogging, coz it seems like no one is reading, so why bother rite? Haha.. of coz, i thank those who still bother or are nice to come & find out how i'm doing. Arigatou...

*ThaNkz!*

Yay! Art was fun Thursday! Lol.. the way Mich, Bryan & I panicked over a dot of paint which found itself on a wrong spot was painfully funnie as well! We 'AHHH!!!' and hurried each other to get a piece of tissue in order to clean off the dot of paint to "save" the day. Lol... Miss Wendy stood there to observe & couldn't help thinking how funnie our behavior & expressions were. Finally, when the tissue cleaned off the dot... All 3 sat & laughed and let out a sigh of relief (*pHeW!!!*) Haha...

*Ermz...*

Do ya know what it feels like after something bad happens...? Of coz, there's always the after feelings of either bad - sad or angry, or good - happy or relieve. But what's worse is when ya suffer an after trauma after all things have happen. Now... Life would have probably be hanging and juz waiting for ya to move on from there... I'm trying. . . But it's juz so so difficult. . . Perhaps i should take my. . .

*Argh!*

Intro to film... We sat there for the whole lesson watching this French Film, Day for Night, I think tt was the name. Hmm... Filming ain't tt easy hah? There's practically probs gonna happen all over the place. As for your talents, betta make sure they're free at all time k! Or you'll probably have to kill them in your show in order to make their character disappear.

-Failing to plan______

is to plan to fail from the start...-

The FIRST week has gonE by...

2004-12-14T01:46:00.000+08:00

Yay! Back again! Been too busy living my life in an Imagery World... The Maple Story World. There, i kill, heal, come-back-to-life even if i die, and live my life as a rookie thief. There's no need to eat, sleep, or bathe, BUT ya may need to stand there and rest! Of coz, at the same time, i can't do the same out here k! SO... I go to skool & wish i was home in my comfy bed with my com. But coming home, didn't quite mean tt either, coz time went to the necessary EAT, SLEEP, & REST. And a stupid sinus meant eating runny nose tablets again! So 1 week has gone by... Juz take a quick flash thru...

*FIRST week of SkooL*

Monday wasn't too bad, except tt i was bit shocked by the assholes remark and the pathetic small room tt 3 FSV classes had to squeeze ourselves into at blk 73.

Tuesday... Ah! I can say i like story telling, though my english kinda sux! Especially when i wrote about this so-called "Leslie" in my story opening the box with a stupid "CLARK!!!" sound. Almost all burst into laughter, i think. Lol... Come to think about it, think tt was something really stupid! I betta bear tt in mind and not do tt again man! Haha... Tuesday is also the day i spent most of my time in skool, 8am - 5pm, kinda like office hours.
Wednesday is once again IS day... Having gone through IAC & CATS. I could imagine wat the rest would be like. BUT!!! Ze Best thing is probably sports & wellness! When we heard what sports were available, we had to run to the seats, in order to book a space in that sport. So when the "GO" command was given... People were jumping and running! Quite chaotic... I'm one of the jumping ones. -_-''' But Starting a Business was deadly dry & boring. (Sh*t!!) Hope i'll survive...
Thursday - Juz when i thought my days with art classes were over. Hey! They're back again! There's this graffiti thingy that ze 3 classes are going to complete. Had fun with it, wonder how it'll look next week.
Friday has come at last... *ah Choo!* *sniff sniff* Otello i'll be seeing... I think i'll like watching it too while doing my assignment. Lesson was 1 HOUR! Crap! Travel for 1 hour FOR 1HOUR of lesson!

*That's about all!*

So yup... the days will be passing reaL quickly... 3 hour breaks and busy SSC stuff on Monday, long days on Tuesday, non-stop ball whacking and sleeping for Wednesday, Arty Farty Thursday, and not too sure of how Friday will turn out. Foreseeing busy schedule juz with LocVid. And SSC which will make me super busy.

A tale of the Devil

Angel, perhaps in a good way, was persistent. Angel continued to rummage around the pile of dirt and dust to find its goal. "I found it!" Angel cried out. Wiping it clean with a piece of towel, the once soiled object glittered brightly in hand. It was the only thing to defeat the darkness and to unleash the love. To find feelings in that cold heart that has stayed silent for so long. That was the key to light. No matter what risk it may take, or whether there'll be any success at all, Angel was willing to try. In the mist of this, someone was watching; watching every step and thought that was made at every moment. "Foolish!" the Devil exclaimed with a snort. The Devil walked around the dark chamber, dragging the long cloak which drape down those heavy shoulders. Looking into the emptiness of the room, a soft mumble was heard, "Why do you even bother..."

Olivia

Honouring love in my thoughts

2004-12-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

While the hour that skool starts is less than 2 days away, and counting down as i'm typing, and i shd be sleeping now. I still wanna dream abit... Close my eyes and think of happy, faraway, & farfetched thoughts...

I dunno what it is that has captivated me
All i know is, i've been swept off my feet.
I told others of the fear I lead
But daringly smile and agreed.

Then my conscience was killing inside
And i had to say, which was only right.
Instead of shock, that I thought
You held me close and said,"fear not".

Trying hard to forget the past
and wanting now to last.
A title, i've heard others want
So what if you're that only one?

That's a name that others know
what matters is the feelings that follow.
Feelings that should not get lost
If he's truly yours.

With love to those i care for who are either in love, outta love, or lacking of love. And with appreciation to those who have truly cared for me. I thank all frenz & palz for that little thoughts of me when ya think of me as your friend.

Kids, puzzles, and questions...

2004-12-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

*Parents out, kids at play!*

Everything... Began as a bright and cheery day, with sweet words and a smile on my face. Was greeted by a bunch of bubbly kids which in each and everyone of them, i saw "happiness" and "fun". I told stories and drew pictures, and was returned with "laughter" and "joy". They then brought me to see part of their lives, told me places they've been too, things they like, and wonderful times they had. They were instructed to close their eyes, to see the world in their own way, to think whatever they like, and live the imaginary world for the moment. Soon, they opened their eyes... If those eyes were stars, they would be brightest of all the stars - The look in their eyes. Excited and seemingly rejuvenated from their far away trip, they took up their pencils and were drawing away. Lines curves, colours... A simple drawing. But... the drawing itself held dearly to their thoughts and the world that they see. All good things muz come to an end, time's up! The children waved and said good-bye, whether they remember or not, i do not mind. But I had a great time with them. Hope they'll bloom into beautiful flowers and butterflies like in the stories i read...

*feeling nice =)*

Proceeded on to Liz's home sweet home. *lolz* She's trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. Yup, it's cute with the dog & the 3 other puppies... Haha... But the colours are pretty close, kinda tough man! Ermm... Gotta make sure it'll be done in time. *gRiNz* Yeah! But fun to help! =D Lalala... Heh Heh... Thx for a free ride to Jurong Pt from her dad & mom! And!!! Her mom was talking bout lunch for tomolo, looks like her mom gonna make a nice lunch tomolo! *yuMmY!* Lol...

*LaZzzy!!!*

Yes, I'm lazy. Hmm... Not good to say such stuff since skool's gonna start. *uH hUm!!!* I'll be hardworking? Betta be... Met Bel today! Oh man! So long since i met her and really sit down to chit chat! A grp of Ah Beng & Ah Lian were sitting near us or rather WE were the ONLY ppl sitting near them. *Lol* HaiZ... Those typical small fries who are probably ard 13 - 14 yrs old... (Xiao Hun Hun!) Bel seemed pretty distracted by them, was she spoiling for a fight like the good old Bel??? (Was getting prepared if we ended up in a fight... I'll try to whack if she stays, if not... RUN!!!) *lol* But she controlled la, come on man! This is probably Nothing to her! Haha... Catching up on days in Crez and good old palz like Toreen & Clare, I realised i miss them. Will remember them whether i meet them often or not...

-Time is ticking and i'm wishing,

that there'll be time for you.

My life has been in acting and dreams,

so how tough can 1 more role be?

2 or 3? How much is 1?

And i don't mind 1 more

Cause i'm doing it for you...-

*Olivia*

The time is ticking away...

2004-12-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

Roots, stems, leaves, seed, flowers, and... WASP? *yUcKz* My throat felt so swollen and sore the morn yesterday... And I decided that i lay my fate in the good old "Cheena" medicine. Reaching there, the chinese Sinseh was an elderly man, quite as i expected on the elderly part. I didn't quite know how to go about asking for the medicine herbs, so i was telling him in my terrible chinese tt i wanted the kind tt will cook into medicine soup. Gd thing he kinda knew what i needed! So he took a pink paper and started taking the herbs, one by one, roughly estimating how much of each. The seeds, flowers and some weird chopped up stuff looked pretty fine, BUT!! Wasp? *Oh my God!!* They looked so GIGANTIC... Hmm... quite exaggerating la... But the size of a 50 cents coin and as big as a thumB.

*YuCkz*

Feeling bit betta now... But ever since tt few days when i was sick, i've also developed a sudden addiction to MapleStory too. (Argh! Eush! I'm addicted too!) *danGerOuS* Instead of sleeping at nite, i think i'll be busy having these fingers of mine pressing away on the keyboard and whacking away in the game! *tsk tsk* Haha... Muz have self-control on skool dayz & set a time to sleep by. Yeah! *biSh biSh* (diE U cutE lookiNg mOnsTeRs!!!)

~A fragmented Tale ~

~A World without You~_____
~The Eyes will close~

Deep Dive

Le Food Fight!!!

2004-11-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

Yeah! *wiNkz* Thankz for pizza treat to all of us today from Mr Siew... But... Haha... The pizza juz magically started vanished in less than 15mins. Wow! Really fast man! One min they're there, the next they're gone. We took a grp shot with Janice's camera today too. Funnie Mr Siew ah... said we'll jump up for the candied shot... Then it went, 1! 2...! 3!!! Juz as we were really gonna let go and jump 2 to 3 feet off ground, some of us noticed Mr Siew... Guess what he did? He juz slightly bounced and probably was off ground by 1cm only... -_-''' So some of us quickly held back our super high jump.

*ATTACK!!!*

So... everyone left, except for us T1B3 peekz. Apparently, not very filled by the food. (*lol*) So we kinda played around with the caterer's food on the table. Happily messing and pinching some here and there. Next Stop!!! Far East Plaza! Ah... Good service was provided by our friendly staff at Subway. Yay! *thUmBz uP for Wendy!!!* Lol... it's true la. But some person kept bullying our gal who was helping us. *uH hum....* Bad bad Bat... And Bryan was getting totally breathless over these Ayumi little dolls, as I crazily made this decision to get this My Little Pony plushie (soft toy) at this toy store at Far East plaza. *man!!* That has never happen when i go to a toy store in a long long time. My Little Pony? HAha... Err... I can explain... It's this.. uhh... used to be small girl's favourite cartoons... (muZ have lost control! *tsk tsk*)

*3 cinemas...*

We went to the cinemas along orchard rd to search for Shutter. But it was unusually jam pack with ppl all over the streets & there were so many ppl watching movies today. And *ouch* my throat's been kinda sore... =( no good at all!! Back to movies thingy, most of the shows were flashing the Red words: Selling Fast. So we ended up watching Taxi! That theif, Vanessa, with her 3 hot accomplices was so Wow! They had the figures, the looks to die for, and i guess style. *oOpz... sounding bit les hah?* She was cool la! Much betta than those bimbotic car show models!!

Tired? I dunno...

2004-11-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

What's tiring??

Having a busy schedule
No time to catch a breathe
Running all over the place
Less than 30mins to eat
So lacked of time that u have NO appetite
Getting chased for things
People questioning and demanding
Going after people for things
No time for sleep
Rushing for datelines

You think these were bad? No... In fact, not... Of coz, if it was ALL, than it would be tiring. But the worst of all is actually WAITING. At least, i think so at this moment. Yes, i did say waiting can be entertaining. And waiting does lead to wondering which isn't so bad. But not when u wait and have to worry at the same time!! It's juz taxing on the mind which eventually leads to the body. To conclude: Waiting is very tiring when u Wonder & Worry!

*taxing me...*

Feeling bit sick... got a headache and i'm starting to wheeze and sense a sore throat coming. All thx to pepper and chocolates. Oh well... nvm... yeah, will be getting pizza treat tomolo. Consider my last weekday of holiz too coz i'll be working at the community centres to teach kids, hope no naughty children...

Cherish... and dun let yourself "miss it"

2004-11-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

Missing...
adj 1: not existing; "innovation has been sadly lacking"; "character development is missing from the book" [syn: lacking(p), nonexistent, wanting(a)]
2: not able to be found; "missing in action"; "a missing person"

-WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University-

A word that i realised i need to think carefully about it and try to understand its meaning. Juz after i blogged my entry last nite, a friend called. Of coz this isn't the full conversation... But the important details tt i wanna tok about. After the usual "hi!" this is how it went...

Me: Is something wrong?
Ys: I... I-I just broke up...
Me: *shocked* R u okay? (I knoe tt was stupid to say)
Ys: I... dunno... *sad* (sounded like he was going to cry)
Me: Dun feel so sad... What happened?
Ys: I thought i would be alright, but i've been lying in bed... I'm down with a fever and i can't sleep...
Me: Erm... U broke off with her...?
Ys: no... She told me and at tt moment I thought i'll be fine

Ys: I realised i've taken her for granted, went a big round and came back to her again. But still, didn't treat her well...
Me: Now, i've realised how much she means to me... (Cut off some things) And why ppl always say to cherish things while it's around. But it's too late...

*Sigh...*

I kinda... (making a guess...) think i found out why she decided tt it was time for her to speak up and admit tt he was neglecting her. While he's my friend, i would say i feel tt it's his fault. However, i feel sad to the sorry state tt he is in now. I told him where i think he did wrong and told him tt maybe he shd try again. But also, given tt he's 19 and they've been together for 2YRS, i told him perhaps he should think if there's any point in continuing. If no, maybe it'll be betta to not waste each others' time. I wish... that they'll both find their hearts. Hearts? As in how they feel and their true happiness...

*Informing ppl can be a chore!*

Lunch with old SSC com... But dunno when... only know lunch... Told them lunch... But still asked wat time... Then i ask Len, she said "it's lunch... what u think?" Lol... I dun blame her... Coz i feel the same too. So knoe the date, dunno venue and dunno EXACTLY wat time.

Ronan: Four O'Clock in the morning

My mind's filled with a thousand thoughts of you

And how you left without warning

But looking back I'm sure you tried to talk it through

LeAnn: Now I see it so clearly

We're together but living separate lives

Ronan: So I wanna tell you I'm sorry

Baby I can't find the words

But if I could, then you know I would

Yeah...

*Chorus*

Both: No I won't let go, know what we can be

I won't watch my life crashing down on me

Guess I had it all right there before my eyes,

Yeah...

Ronan:

Girl, I'm sorry now we're the last thing on my mind

Last Thing on My Mind - LeAnn Rimes & Ronan Keating

I thank God...

2004-11-27T10:48:00.000+08:00

This is a past event, perhaps almost 3 yrs back. Juz talking bout it... SO... Hey Hey! Hope no one gets *jumpy* over any of the following if it's not kinda correct. A friend of mine was telling me how we are given the ability of "love" by God, so that we can love him and we should in turn love him above all. Then I remember asking some stupid question like... Why didn't God juz kinda "program" us to love him only or make us place him at tt No.1 place in our hearts... Wouldn't tt juz save all tt trouble of him hoping tt we will love him and have him at tt No. 1 place? Well, well, God is generous... So i guess he decided that he should let us love others as well and not forget him of coz! I thank God for giving me Love. While love can be bitter, painful, piercing, and stabbing (At certain times and to certain ppl, of coz hopefully not like this), Love is still sweet, romantic, mushy, and beautiful.

*Thank you for the Love*

Heh heh... A week left and i'll be saying Aloha to skool life again, hitching rides from my mom, doing assignments, eating at canteen 1, laughing at or with my classmates, doing loads of SSC stuff, having fun with SSC and T1B3, and "tuan-ing" ard with my buddies. Haha... But i like that life... considering if it's pretty well spread out & i have enough sleep. Not Enough Sleep, makes me a Crazy girl!

*But some time shall be set aside...*

Went to take a walk at the park, nice cool night breeze (simply nice), and the moon was Sooo Bright and round! Wah! I muz be so relaxed to enjoy all of these!!!

Though time is not by our sides

And pockets can be pretty tight

Your sweet words are warm

And you've done no wrong

Thy heart still has fear

That perhaps you can't hear

You remind me that I'm al-rite

I should try... to get out of that fright...

*Another Long Entry...*

Verse 1 (Jamie)

Oh...

Yeah...

Holding you here in my arms

Your heart is beating fast

And you want me to tell you just

How long my love will last

Pre Chorus (Sammi)

Look in my eyes, hear what I say

I'll be the one who won't walk away

Chorus (All 4 One & Sammi)

I cross my heart

Pledge to you, all my love

To have and to hold

From this moment on

Just as long as the stars shine above

I will be true, I promise you

I cross my heart

I Cross My Heart - All 4 One & Sammi Cheng

One of the things tt ppl search for

2004-11-23T23:38:00.000+08:00

HaPpiNeSs...
What is it? That so many people walk endlessly hoping to find it, let it probably find them, or juz waiting for it to enter their paths. Some might have found theirs, but it couldn't belong to them. Well, it's up to them to try to let go and move on, to find it all over again. While some, juz search without a clue... sadly, probably never find it. Hmm... The waiting ones? It might juz be round the corner, or... right infront of ya?

*Found yours?*

Been looking forward to Kingdom Hearts II... (Darn!!! Still gotta wait a very very long time!) Hey! HEY!! The days been passing by... And look manz! Skool's gonna start reaL SoOn! Hmm... I think it's gonna be fun! At least, i think so... *lol* Of coz... the usual rushing assignments which i alwayz say to myself that I won't be doing last min work & blah bLah sh*t (haha... but till halfway, always ends up last min). More SSC to pack up my schedule.. (uH...! Polympics, then Sportscamp...) & getting myself back in some action with some sports! (itching to do some kicking now!). Yeah~! Basically all these...

*Tick tOcK! I'll remember...*

=) hehe... (CrAzY mE! *haha..*) Gotta make some decisions which i dunno... will turn out sucky or al-rite... Hmm... part-time job with skool... Err... I think i'll try again! One of these days, shd go back and say Hi to Jaime & stop hiding in the covers. I miss the florist & ze pretty flowers & those lovely hydrangeas...

Nice sleepy day!

2004-11-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

Been slacking all day, catching up on some lost sleep... feeling like a P-I-G. Gotta get back right on schedule... Yesterday i went down to the party, Virgins Suicide. Hmm... If ya about to ask y izzit called tt, err... I got no idea man! I'm kinda wondering too. Anyway, it's a FMS party, organised by the film, sound, and vid students... Not all the yr 1s... Some of them. Well, it's was not bad, but i'm not the smoker or drinker kind, so probably i'll give a less thumbs-up for it. But Hey! Food was good. Nice Satay cooked by Mr Satay man, Khid (or was it Kid, sorry bout the name!) and Andrew was busy cooking chicken wings too. 2 of them sweating away, juz to feed the so many hungry ppl who came... And our dear dear Joyce, haha... i think she couldn't stop eating for a moment.

*Thx for the food!*

Then the few of us went for a walk along east coast. There was like some miniature funfair kinda thingy... Well, the bumper car would probably be the only "Ok" ride there. The rest of the rides... Hmm... The amount spent there would be better spend at Escape Themepark. No thrill la... But i was hoping to rollerblade after seeing so many ppl blade past. *Darn it!* Muz go there to blade someday! Then went we went back to the chalet... Some gal got dead drunk. Betta not say too much, but i think she's not a good drinker. While some other gal got bit drunk, kinda amusing crap she said. Haha... I was impress by the lights tt Syl and friends got for the chalet though. Not bad not bad...

-When you awaken hidden memories...

you may no longer be you.-

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

-Our most precious memories often lie

deepest in our heart, out of reach-

Mysterious person

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

The true ones stand out in times of need

2004-11-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

It was interesting to see the camera crew at work... Unfortunately... (oh no...!) Faith did not make it through to next week's program! Hey! But she's okay man! Ah! And if Liz was around, she would have sure wanted a signature from her fave Dj. Though i kinda didn't have a very pleasant time, i'm thankful to have friend like An An. A person who would step out from the dark juz to help ya out. I'm glad tt u were there.

*In times of need, the true ones stand out*

Yay!! I've finished my rolls of film! Heehee... And my last shot was a candied shot! Haha... *lame* But i'm proud of it k! It was taken through my mischievous skills of trickery! *heh heh* So gotta pass the films to Mr Siew to get them developed and ask him for more to *chik-chak*. Sad hah... My old friends are busy or some are having a tough time. Well... I hope to see them soon. Anything interesting to do recently? Let me know peekz!

*A tale of the devil*

The Devil looked around the room. A dusty old table stood there in the corner, filled with cobwebs all over. Going closer, a jar containing an evil power was placed there. The Devil reached out and held the jar in hands and wondered what to do with it. Inside held a gruesome and menacing past of terrible sins that were committed. One by one, the Devil scanned through. With a wave of a hand, the Devil looked through a magical portal. The Angel appeared. The Angel was smiling and was going round to help others. At that moment, the Devil envied the innocence and kindness, and despised its evil self. However, deep down inside the Devil held a hidden feeling, but for the first time, felt fear as well. Fear of making the Angel fall into the dark side...

Olivia

First time to mediacorp...

2004-11-17T16:29:00.000+08:00

Okie! Gonna go to Mediacorp to see the School Belle & Beau Program later! Going down to support Faith. People who know her, SUPPORT her k! Simply by sending some sms thingy, i think... Err... As for the bill on your Hp... Haha... I dunno!!! So up to u peekz out there who wanna support her! Faith is the skool belle for Ngee Ann Poly for anyone's info! Never been to those studios be4, wonder what it'll be like... Will be back to blog on it. But i've got a feeling there's be some signboard like, "clap!" and "Stay Quiet"... *Lol* I'll see for myself later!

*Off to see the show ::Life!::*

Yawn... Feel bit sleepy...

2004-11-15T23:40:00.000+08:00

Oh gReAt! Stormy is resting his chin on my hand, how cute! And why...? Coz my silly dog wants green tea... -_-''' Funnie dog! Another day... Had great company back to skool. But err... haha... very apologetic that i couldn't wake up and the haha... I betta not say... Or i'll get suan again! Kk!! Sorry! *chik cHaK* Took some pics in skool... MR SIEW!!! Where are you?? We're all kinda waiting for your call... (I wanna develop the film too... *heehee*)

*WHERE ARE THE CORNFLAKES?*

Strangly... I can't find my Post Cereals anywhere in the supermarkets... The yummy & healthy ones have all cleared off the shelves and only those sweet sugary ones are still sitting there! Now which bright spark decided to hide them?! Betta get some explanation to the disappearance of my cornflakes soon! It's interrupting my daily breakfast... Meanwhile, juz gotta make do with those other brands... Definitely not taking those sugary sucky yucky ones!!!

*Err...*

My life.. Though home stuff is kinda... ya... messy. But still i can't imagine what may lie ahead. Dun dare to think too far... While other stuff? I'm smiling(probably grining too)... Which spells out clearly how it pretty much is. So enjoy some nice popcorn... And see how things go! =) Ah!! What to get for Christmas???! *thInk tHinK!* There's still time...

Jack: Am I not? [looks down on himself] Hmm...

[finds pistols pointed at him]

Puhluley, puhlulehvoos, parleli,

parsmi, pasley, parle, parle...

Ragetti: Parley?

Jack: Parley! That's the one. Parley! Parley!

Pintel: Parley? Damned to the depths

whatever man had thought of parley.

Jack: That would be the French.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Hell of a good time...

2004-11-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

Glad tt the craP is O-V-E-R... Yah! I know tt some of them are too, juz like me. Infront of them, i looked like a poorly organised and irresponsible person. But whatever!!! Like it was my idea in the first place... Yes... ALL the words that began with F came to my mind on Thursday, having a pressing dateline of 3pm Fri. F-rustrated, F-lustered, F-urry... And maybe the worst one of them all as well. The Red Crap ppl were kinda piss off with me which i'm pretty sure someone else is pretty unhappy with them in turn for what happened on my side. I can only say... I don't wanna be doing THIS next time, or it shouldn't pop up so sudden. Get the ppl, sign some contract, if they can't in the end... THROW the paper in their face and take their stinking money! I feel like being evil... Muahaha! Sigh... Tough to be like tt. I'm human pls, not a super gal.

*You all win! =P*

Update a bit... Went for a chalet from Tues to Thurs with my family. Was meant to be more relaxing, but Red Crap ppl and issue was not giving me any peace at all. Great! Ruin my rest! But still, managed to calm down and enjoy the simple things. A wonderful sunset, planes passing by (real close in fact), tiny sea shells scattered on the sand tt look so amazingly nice when ya purposely squat down to see them, sails in the distance (wow?), and the fluffy clouds with swirls. Really simple things, but good enough to tell me that life ain't so bad after all. Heehee... And all the BBQ food to cheer me up. Yay! Stingray!! Heehee...

*Back to OK!*

Whatever tt happened... nevermind. Forgive and forget. I'll try not to be a "grave digger" by bearing it very hard in my mind. After Friday 4 plus, things were back to normal. Turns out i won't be going to Thailand on tues. *sheesh!* Thought i could get away, and this would return the rest i lost for those days! See la!!! Bit pissed! James... Whoever he is, ya very irresponsible ya know, nah! I don't blame ya, maybe u had lots of ppl to inform and probably had a tough time like i did. The Incredibles! Yeah! I loved that movie! It's an animation, but it was really good, great for laughs, and the storyline... It's name spells it all - Incredible!

-Anyway, what can happen to us?

We're superheroes, remember?-

Mrs Incredible (Elastic Girl)

from The Incredibles

The last few days... were not good

2004-11-12T13:13:00.000+08:00

At its wits' end, i say
Can't you do then, you say
Who knows?
That it ne'er my choice.
'Tis word - Peace...
Shalt see the light of day
That bright sun's great exit
Brings more darkness
More groom and more dismay.
In search of a great get-away
Thou has aches and pains
In which the very cure
Is ze poison of all.

Olivia - In Search of an Understanding...
That's wat i'm feeling, those who knoe what i've been doing and understand what i say, may knoe what the above is about...

Sweet... A kinda nice feeling thats feels so different from before

2004-11-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

"Fear can't hold a candle to unswerving faith,
much less muster up the guts to even attempt to blow it out."
Brian G Jett

Nice weather today... But i still missed out on my swimming. *BleH* FinallY! It's been a really long time since i baked anything... Actually, didn't have the courage to do so anymore... (naH! I didn't burnt down my kitchen or caused some fire be4 k!) Haha... Reminded me of Food & Nutrition lessons with Miss Teo for the past few yrs. Hey! Not bad k! Got my distinction for my O's, ya know! (heehee... *brag*) Yup! Grateful to Mrs Khan's and Miss Teo Chor Chang ( think it's spelled like that, but i used to call her Torture Chang!! Lol) As i was cooking, i recalled on those days in the f&n room... Boring classes which i often almost fell asleep, if not, i was probably busy irritating Miss Teo by bombarding her with all my questions *lol*. Cooking time with my first partner, Ho Ting which i eneded up doing lots of stuff; And my second partner, Kasthuri, who "never failed" to bring absolutely nothing for class. Yup! As well as those days that Liz and I were busy doing our F&N project for O's and we were busy editing each others' documents... Haha...

*Those were the dayz...*

But those days were fun! Except for the cleaning up... *tsk tsk* Err... The cooking process wasn't too good... But considering that i haven't been doing it for so soo Long! Ermm... I would say, "Not too bad gal!!". Yupz... So that's a good start after all! Looks like i kinda overcome the problem in tt mind of mine. Had a great meal today... *Yummy!!* And Mommy made desert! Heehee...

*Nothing to do huh?*

The neighbourhood has nothing here... Except for the flat grounds for me to blade around. Some nice looking plants... K! It's bit boring at times. Waiting for the park behind my home to be ready. Hmm... Now my turn to worry the thing Liz was worried about. Situation at Thailand concerning their security ain't very safe, so i dunno if i'll be going for the forum discussion. But even so... If i go, i'll be missing...

-You're the kind of friend who always bends when

I'm broken

Like remember when

You took my heart and put it back together again-

Ultimate - Lindsay Lohan

Strong words are not enough to describe at times...

2004-11-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

Who are you to decide that your responsibility is done?
Who are you to dictate others to abide by you?
Who are you to push around others to do your stuff?
Who are you to cause fear in everyone?
Who are you to make miseries in our lives?
In the end, without you, there'll be no me. But still WHO ARE YOU?

Why are you idling around?
Why are you free-loading and sitting around?
Why are you making yourself a nuisance?
Why are you so disgusting in my eyes?
Why are you not waking up to reality?
In the end, I tell myself, I WILL NOT BE LIKE YOU! But still WHY ARE YOU like that?

*I will not stand this nonsense!*

Relaxed? I am... But i juz wanna know why i have fear to go against? Why i cannot stand up to such doings? whY I keep silent and dare not speak up?! Rebellious, i once was. So can't i bring out that stubbornness and unruly behaviour to fight this war? Perhaps, i can't at all. Coz that terribly fiery temper in me has long subsided to the size of matchstick flame... *Damn!* This is crap! My dislike for ya, has become digust... I wish to say "I h-a-t-e... " But that's something i shall not waste my life on feeling so, or doing so... Coz that will strain me.

*Calm still*

Forget it... Ya wasting my time! We shall see what will be done... U will get what u deserve. And no pretence from you please... It makes me sick in the stomach. Sorry for my strong words...

Smiling no matter how...

2004-11-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

Watching Notting Hill as i blog. Not much happened today, except the quarreling juz now... Wish to say it's none of my blardy business, but what to do? I live under this roof.
A little gal stares at a picture... She sees a sister, a mother, a father, and herself. She looks at it and smiles. Waves it happily in the air, showing the world what a wonderful picture it is. Years later... i look back on her. Her innocence, her sparkle in her eyes, her smile... Naive - the word comes to my mind. Life is never so "picture perfect". Nevermind all this sh*t!

*A song to the day and U*

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

[chorus]

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best ...

When you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they could never define
What's been said between your heart and mine
[Chorus]

Oh... The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best (say it best).. when you say nothing at all

(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

That smile on your face
The truth in your eyes

The touch of your hand
Let's me know that you need me..
(You say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

Ronan Keating - When you say nothing at all

*One of my favourite songs*

Ah HoY! My MatEz!

2004-10-31T23:56:00.000+08:00

-Deem it be,
but thou shall not falter.
For this surging energy has
been waiting to soar.
Set off on its grand voyage
in search of its great fate.

Having sailed not many seas,
and blown by few dreadful winds.
The ship has dropped its anchor
and found a place to halt.
For it has found destiny...
Perhaps? We shall see...-
*Livie

*Sweet*

Sugar, marshmellows, chocolates, smoothies, ice-cream, to brownies... All sweet little (Err.. Little?) treats that i've been having. Each day a different one... Sounds pretty sinful with all these sugary stuff hah? Yah... But! Good tt i had this sweet taste with me for ze last few days. At least better than today... I completely can't taste anything; can only roughly identify salty taste (or was the food really super salty?? Ehh... hope not).

*Dun run...*

Oh well... Before you start to run, learn how to walk... Before you start to swallow, learn how to chew... Before you start to dance, learn the steps... Some things are like that... learn them slowly and don't go too fast. Each small step or process can be tedious, but we should still go slow and enjoy it. So maybe i will not teach and juz roughly say, and let others figure it out for themsleves. Take time to enjoy the things around us: The people who are always supportive and nice to us. The beautiful scenery tt is there everyday, juz waiting for us to admire. The sounds of birds chirpping and the rustling of the leaves. All these... Have you stopped to think? I shall... Take time to appreciate all these and things tt others do for me... And ask myself what will i do for them?

-When your world breaks down

and the voices tell you turn around.

When your dreams give out I will carry you, carry you.

When the stars go blind

and the darkness starts to flood your eyes.

When you're falling behind, I will carry you-

Clay Aiken - I will carry you

A moment like this

2004-10-28T02:35:00.000+08:00

-A moment like this
Some people wait a lifetime
For a moment like this
Some people search forever
For that one special kiss
Ohh, I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime
For a moment like this..... -
Kelly Clarkson - A Moment like this

People are all waiting everyday... Right from their very first step out of the house! Waiting for the traffic lights that take forever to turn "green", waiting for the train, waiting for their bus to come, waiting for the lift thats goes up and down which may always be so crowded. Not forgetting waiting in line in a queue, waiting to be served, waiting for their food, waiting to hear something, waiting for a chance to speak or even to ask. Everyone is juz waiting for that time of theirs to do whatever they have, want, or need to do... I've waited for all of these... Expected
most, but not all... And like i've said before... Waiting can be entertaining. I've learnt to appreciate the things around me too as i waited, learnt to be patient, learnt that life is not a fairy tale come true... However, when all the waiting is done, and having seen all tt's around, ya'll realise tt waiting has probably been worth it, juz to see the end result. *But the end... May juz be the beginning of a totally new story tt is to be written.....*

*This is not "Never" Land*

Some things in life, ya think it'll never come, never be possible, never will happen. But think again. Life is full surprises and what is thought to be never, could actually always been there. Yeah! This is not "Never" Land, not the Peter Pan's Neverland, but neither is it the land where u'll never get an answer or never get "some things" ya want... So if want something, go out there and find it. Some will cling on and never let go... till they find their answer. And i'm glad they do! *smiLeZ* While they cling on to hear it, let me tell ya, ya'll get an answer... probably a satisfying one as well...

-Go out there and decide who you are.

You may be a winner!-

Lizzie Bradbury in Wimbledon

*cRaP? Not cRaP k!*

YoZ outta Clara! Thankz for ze movie treat! I loved the movie Wimbledon... (lolx... It's probably inspired me to try out tennies too!) Uh-huh... Nah... It's been in my list, but expensive to learn. K... I'm sports cRaZy K! There's so much in my list that even i can't keep track of it... (wtH...)Those who dunno- Yah, i admit! Heh heh... Anyway, got Sports & Wellness next semester *wOohOo!!!* Huh? Kanna Dancesport? Err... Hmmm.... AHHHH!!! No choice lor... Ok also... *For God sake, ya saying "ok"?!* Err... I'll go find a sports cca then if i get Dancesport, *BoohOo...* at least can console myself that Dancesport is not permanent and i have a sports to look forward too. Wah Hahaha... 7 ppl squeezing in a car is indeed hilarious too! Alvin!! Dun turn too fast, people at the back are squashing each other! *pHew!* At least my face wasn't being press to the window...

-Brownies are too sweet all the time

Ya even worse than the brownie!

Ya way too sweet man! But.....

I'm bias, so I like it! *bLeh*-

Livie *heh heh*

Interactive day... Thank u to all!

2004-10-26T02:00:00.000+08:00

Yes! 3 chEErz to SSC! Though not really up to the standard we wanted... Smile on my friendz... We can and we will do better the next time! Haha... But not bad, despite how i tired we were, i felt happy. Yeah! HaPpY... Thankz to all ze hardwork put in from the facilitators, especially Jeremy who last min had to become one of them... AND of coz, our dear participants who turned up and spent the night with us! Kudos to Joyce, ya the bravest! Ze only gal participant. I thank ya so much! YEAH!! Big breaktime!!!

*Heehee..*

-Sat- Slept 2 hours (sad...) and got up to meet someone for breakfast.. K, muz add this too, thx for lending me the bag. Then went to meet chin ling & ze rest to IMM... Nengz and Azlan were busy drooling over ze gals in ze exam hall from the clubhouse window... SIGH!!! GUYZ!!! Haha... went on to buy stuff and came back for meeting... k! We were late, and silly me lost my hp. It slipped out of my pocket... Was so totally worried. Gd thing the taxi driver returned it to me tt day, but i paid him for his petrol la... *phew... glad my hP is back* We faced terrible wet weather condition. Thus, our participants no. fell, but like Kai said, we muz still carry on, no matter wat and muz still be in high morale and stay happy! Yep! Of coZ, we still kept ourselves excited over the whole thing! =) Reached ferry terminal and played games with them. Lol... Back to Basics... Played some catching kinda game... LOL (but it was fun!)

*aWw....*

-Sun- Rain spoilt our dry weather plan... so we juz had a treasure hunt and some station games... Wah... & we had to walk to Siloso beach from ferry terminal... Ya knoe wat??? It such a long walk man! Carrying stuff all ze way there, well... i really needed to sit man! Neng was cooking for the participants... Not Bad man! So many praises to his food... Unfortunately, the sauce spilled. But no worries... So we, the com, enjoyed some toasted marshmellows with a few other ppl who wanted a share in our fluffy & sticky affair over our charcoal fire in an aluminium tray... 7.30am... at last there was the Sentosa bus to bring us back to where our bus was waiting for us... but too bad the bus we were on refused to drive us to ze sports complex. Yay! Program ended! And I have caught up with all my sleep... Now... Time to get a job... Thank u to a friend of mine who spoke to me on the phone for 4 hours! Long time since i've last done long "yakking" on the phone!

*sleepy time!*

Eugene, ya a good bro man! Thankz for ze consultation... Lol... At least, next time i knoe who to look for when i need some counselling... *haha..* CarefuL with ya jokez man! Gd thing this cracky gaL here can handle man! *huGz* Take Care!

And YOU!!! What did ya want to say??! Ya knoe who U are!!

-Sometimes love can make ya feel good

Sometimes love treats you like nothing should

Sometimes your heart's where your feet have stood

Nothing's gonna change, and nothingcould-

She gets me inside - Ronan Keating

I wAnnA sLaCk... Yes!

2004-10-22T13:34:00.000+08:00

*ThiZ mAy bE pReTTy loNnng...*

YawNz... this gaL is worKing over time... Spells out 1 word... T-I-R-E-D! Not very slack-y this week ya knOe... Despited the fact that i dun have any of the E*** stuff. BeeN doing SSC, going back to skooL for SSC, shopping for SSC... Hmm... Not complaining, but i kinda tired of travelling to and fro to skool. And somehow or other, I got no idea y i can't sleep in till like 12plus or some sort this week! *ArrgH!!* Keep getting up early, but i wannA SLEEP!!!

*SLEEP! I DEMAND IT NOW!*

Been listening to songs, watching trailers (gamez)... Haven't found the time to sweat it all out yet! Then it's been raining non-stop, can't even rollerblade with tt wet ground. Missed out on Tkd this week too. SPEX!! Still got time to train? Nah.. Heck care tt sh*t! Wait till my m'dm tells me... I'll be going to skool again. NO tRAIN RIDE = No b*tchy ppl or suckErz ard for one day yeSterday. (wAh! Glad maN!!) Juz mOrE & mOre muSic... But lots of ppl to call... SSC... mOre to call latEr...

*Let the Music heaL your souL*

Have I told you lately that I love you

Have I told you there's no one else above you

You fill my heart with gladness

Take away all my sadness

Ease my trouble, that's what you do

Kenny Rogers - Have I told u lately that I love u

Baby there's something about you that

I can hold on to

I'm going to hold on to that

Baby there's something about you that

I can hold on to

I'm going to hold on to that

Five For Fighting - Something about you

It seems like I can finally

Rest my head on something real

I like the way that feels

Ohhhh

It's as if you know me better

Than I ever knew myself

I love how you can tell

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

Ashlee Simpson - Pieces of me

Feel it? Heh heh...

2004-10-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

yEah! Back fRom my hectic, busy schedule!!! Skool's oUt... Holiz arE iN!!! YeaH!!! It's Monday MorNinG witHoUt the BluEs. ^^ ThOsE witH zE bLuEs, chEeR uP mAn... It'll be oveR sOon... *sMiLez* Downloading soMe sOngs, listEning to MTV Asia (It's Robbie Williams nOn-stoP hits coZ it's his gReAt releAsE of his CD today), and enjOyiNg Ze nicE cooL mOrNing. Feels so great man!

*AnytHinG to dO?*

Fell asLeEp reaL early last nite... And got up at 6 this mOrninG... Well rested, quite well fed... (haha...), Hmm... Hey! ANYONE going out during the Holiz? Muz call me aLonG k! =P *Stops blogging at 7.47am...*

*Goes to Jurong to run errands for mommy, stops by at ze Ice-skating Rink to take a look.

That place, reminds me of Liz, Quan and I who were mugging for our prelims and O's over there... Haha... Ze first time Liz and i went there to study at ze tables outside the rink, we were totally freezing after the first hour... Lol... At least we were well prepared ze next time with our jackets.. Heehee... And I remember myself doing Maths 10yr-series and Lit, while wishing tt I was skating and not studying... Sh*tty man! Was there for bout half an hour and it was pouring so terribly! No choice, had to catch a cab.. which resulted in me bumping my head!! *ouCH!!!*

*Proceeds to skool to do SSC stuff all day... Not bad... Got lots of stuff done with Nengz today! Good! Hmm... juz had a casual chat at the end... Some things are better left ze way they are... Why? Coz it's good, and too much mixing might turn out to be no gd to it at all... Though I wish to say...

*At last...*

Now tt it's ze Holiz... Haha.. How many times muz i repeat tt?! Dun sweAr at me pEekz! Haha... Finally, time to catch up on Friends, especially Winnie (i juZ wrote an e-mail to her this morning), thinGs tt cRaZy mE wanTs to do... Maybe go camP? Rock climbing? Ice-skating? Rollerblading? Wah! there's so SO MUCH!!! Gotta try to do aLL! And... still trying to look for some temp job... Any "Lobang"??

-I just want to feel real love

Feel the home that I live in'

Cause I got too much life

Running through my veins

Going to waste-

Feel by Robbie Williams

P.s: Thx for finding out the info for me UnNamed! Thx for another quote...

Cold, Cold night...

2004-10-13T23:52:00.000+08:00

Ze night was cold... On my way home, with ze music playing in my headphone... Ze roads were filled with many cars... But to me, they were all juz blur and all i noticed was the flickering lights as they passed. Walking on further, a bustling Pasar Malam - Spore kinda roadstallz in some way- was juz ahead. The usual durian seller who stood at the road junction everyday, had finally failed to stop and persuade me buy his durians. *phEw* Ze air was cold... *Grr...Co...COLD* The cold night air gently brushed on my face. It felt nice... Good... However, the chill travelled through, giving me a painful sting in ze heart. I looked up. No one was in sight...

*PMS? Nah...*

YES!!! 2 down, last 1 to go!!! AHH!!! Was panicking at the beginning of the practical test... K... *Relax mAn!!* Dun go *nUtz* yet gaL! Ah hah! There, going smOotH now... *heH hEh!* Not bad, Not bad... Juz very BAD... What the sh*t am i talking??? *sh*ty* Gotta pray hard hard tt i pAss man!! Otherwise, welcome to ze World of Misery! Ya gotta do 3 blardy thesis paper! WAH!! Fun ah?! Hope i'm not the fortunate one/s who will get to do it...

*MR SIOW!!!*

Siow is on leave... Please come back asap k! SSC needs ya back now!!! SSC... MUZ GANBATTE!!! We kinda lagging le... Can see that everyone is busy with examz, but we all put in what we can k? Dun feel demoralised... Our fate is not sealed yet!

-only time will tell,

what true feelings are felt.

Shall not play a guess,

I'll wait to see what's the rest-

*bLeH!*

Have a breAk!!!

2004-10-11T23:43:00.000+08:00

Listening to Phantom of the Opera, "All I Ask of You"... Such a lovely song...

*boRed...*

The few of us went to play PS2 at ze Bat's place... Haha... Kinda fun... Of cOz man! No examz and it's ze holiz! Who wouldn't be enjoying themselves? Ok... Maybe not all? Zzz... Zzz... FeeL like sleeping... FeeLing especially sleePy today... *sLeEpy hEad!* GrinZ...

*tHoUghtz*

Need a trip to somewhere overseas to refresh myself... Hmm... Miss the time at Australia. I juz never get bored of that place. Miss the time at Auntie Carol's place, playing with ze kids in the field, chasing the chookz (chickenz... haha...), feeding the guinea pigs, and running through the fruit garden. Wow! WonderfuL memories over there manz! And cute Winnie who's already about 11 yrs old. ^^ Not forgetting one of my fav places in Australia, Goldcoast! The sand, the sea, and the wonderful sky, whether day or nite! K... I need a BREAK!!!

*This love has taken its toll on me.."

Received a call, from a familiar voice which i dare not contact at all... Well... It was a short conversation. yay! Life's juz like tt for me, though the past has been biting on me bitterly inside... Still fine, able to *smiLeZ*... Yah... Thx for thinking so highly of me tt i probably have a Bf now. But NO, i dun. Pain and feaR hits me to even bear the thoughts of trying another... So let the winds direct my saiL, as i choose to drift in the quiet water & enjoy the sea breeze...

-Anywhere you go

let me go too . . .

Love me-

that's all I ask of you -

All I Ask of You

The answers...

2004-10-09T23:56:00.000+08:00

Thinking... what you think may not always be what it seems...
Waiting... someone might be thinking of waiting as well...
Asking... easily said than to be done...
But eventually... Only one thing matters... Is the answer what you really want to hear? Hearing and knowing are 2 different things... I want to hear... Don't dare to know... & would like to find out...

*Ahh! Now i know!*

Sorry... It still feels easier when i'm blogging on my own, without someone next to me, waiting to see what i'm gonna type... Some imagined it to be like the Mysterious Beyond, but nah... =P it isn't! Ze secret hideout of Batman's cave turned out to be a cosy and warm place, neat and tidy, and lastly, comfy and relaxing. Ahh... Can imagine better now? Haha... Once the fact that skool's over, and Holiz are back... Skool work juz seems to be the last thing on your mind... BUT please... If ya gotta do it, JUZ do it! Coz ya NEED to k! *hUgZ* Out to those who r doing assignments.

*More than words*

Sweet - is never enough to describe what ya are or what ya have done... Nice - is not what ya are like, but it's U! Thankz to ya... For taking care of me when i was sick. Helping out when i needed a hand... All these are mere words of my thoughts, which may never be enough to say how much i appreciate it. I hope... God will bless ya alwayz... =) *smiLez*

*Coming uP...*

Examz... On Monday is pgraph test and Wednesday is practical for audio... Hmm... pgraph... ok... *Ermm...* Pract for audio!! (*Err... Can someone teach me pls?!*) Sh*t... so many buttons! Webcg final assignment for the toilet due on Fri... k! Next busy thing for me... SSC ^^ GREAT! Everything is falling back in place.. *gRiNz* So duh rite? Holiz now, so of coz wat! *bLeh* K... Gotta drink more water... *guLp GuLp*

-Answer is you...

Slowly figure tt-

Olivia =p

This day... was tough...

2004-10-08T01:50:00.000+08:00

To Noorin... HapPy BeLated Birthday & sorry for not wishing ya even.
To Bryan... I'm sorry our work is late & for the bad job tt i did.
To SSC & KX... Sorry i couldn't turn up for the meeting & being a bad secretary.
To my Real Younger Brother... HapPy BeLated Birthday to ya! Juz saying it even though i did say it on the actual day. Sis is sorry that she could not make herself present for the birthday dinner. (AH! A gOod excuse to get a better Christmas prezzie from me! *wiNkz* )
To the photography crew... Sorry for any poor cooperation or problem in me!
To Neng Hao... Happy Birthday to ya!
To Anyone else this may concern... Sorry!!! Been pretty *screwed* uP!

Lastly... Myself... I've let myself down. Cheer uP... I see a brighter day ahead while the foreboding sense of danger has yet cease to exist.

*Love to all...*

Good thing i managed to stay awake during audiotech, went through a mock practical. Ya know what, i realised i'm goOd at the guessing game! *BleH!* But i dare not try... Guessed correctly the questions that Mr Tan asked, but the answer was kept in the head. "Ahh... So u understand now? Good! *Nods head & wide smiLez & laughz slightly* If u dunno, dun be afraid to ask. If u ask a few questions, it's ok and everyone can learn from it..."

Writcomm was handed up... (GLAD... *pHew!*) But soon... Bryan reminded me of our grades... Well... we can only wait and see... Seeing that ya can say "Yoz manz!" to Mr Wong neXt Semester outside the office or cage, and not in his lecture or tutorial which he in turn will say, " Where's your Dictionary?! *sigh... then GriNz* 5% deduction from your finaL... ^^".

*Hahaha...*

Almost reaching the overhead bridge... *beEpz!!!* Sorry, ya heading back on account of Buddy sake k! No prob... Sorry Lucas... I missed out on Swensens... Police and thief - the cat and mouse chase. No way man!! Ya not catching me! Sayonara! *BleH!!!* Haha... the thief has escaped! Thx for thanking me on ya blog...

-Batgirl is there to help, if needed.

But beware! She may have the

tendency to screw uP...-

Silent slumber is greatly wanted! I dun wanna go skool!!

No FuZzie food for thiS gaL k!!!

2004-10-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

*Livie has been away... Too much Fast Food juz puts her off... A LATE entry written on October 5th, but for the day be4...*

*skooL*

AHH!!! Audio test is over... (err... dunno if i'll pass anot?) Was going to do writcom, but everyone was so tired out by the overnight studying(even Bryan - can understand how bad it is...). So we gave in & went to sing karaoke... haha... I was kinda sleepy, But tt was not a gd place to Zzz... Michelle and Bryan are so so funnie!!! Bryan's *sexy* style of singing was juz... Ermm... HAHA... Juz too much for us to take... *TOo Hot la!!* lolz... But nice voice for Saturday Night FeveR (Ah HA Ha Ah... Stayin alive...!!! LOLZ!!!) Syl kindly sponsored flies & nuggetz to aLL... Eh... Dun let me eat Fast Food( makes me sick)... *YacKz!* Eush was not in tip-top shape to give us his fuLL performance, but still sang for us & sang his fav song Goodbye... Heh heh... Ze Bat sang too ya knoe!! *cLapZ* My voice sUx... Prefer to listen... Next time juz dedicate & others sing for me to hear... *heehee...*

*K peeKz... Thx for ze Great Company!!!*

Back to sch... AHH!!! Made a terrible mistake... Not everyone had to go back for meeting... Good thing those ppl i informed did not come... *pHew!!!* Ze 5 siao siaoz were all present. Got booth for ze next 3 days... This time round, things will be okie! The day ended with a very very tired & exhausted me... Couldn't come online to blog this last nite... Juz had ze urge to blog this...

-Someday when we are wiser,

When the world's older,

When we have learned.

I pray someday we may yet live to live and let live-

Someday - All 4 one

Searching... for something...

2004-10-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

They've both been searching... Never quite knew what it was... But one thing for sure... They know they're still looking... Still waiting and trying to find...

*Dunno what to write...*

In between "Like" and "Love" lies a very thin line... Often, there are many who stand on this line, unable to assess where they belong to. Plenty fall accidently into "Love" without realising that they took a wrong step... And fearful souls force themselves to "Like" when they belong to "Love"... Which one are you? Or do you lie in the correct group...? Or do you think you belong to the "Lost" and "Scared"? For those who are "Lost", no worries... you'll be "Found". As for those who are "Scared", step out and stop being so...

*They say...*

They say that when you ask, ya shall be answered... I want to ask, but i fear... I feel like asking, but for what? I like to ask, but it's irritating... I shall ask, but i'll never ever have the courage to speak...

*Gonna get Busy...*

Yeh... Morning till 10pm at night is foreseen to be extremely busy... hope everything goes fine...

-Dun love me for fun gaL,

Let me be the one gal...

Love me for a reason,

Let the reason be love...-

Listening: Love me for a reason - Boyzone

What a day?!!!

2004-10-01T23:49:00.000+08:00

Yay! I was on time... Clear traffic on ze road! Michael was amazed tt i was on time. Well, haha... same here. Webcg was fun today! Fun? Think tt's ze first time i said tt... Ah hah... Now i know how to make a toilet! *Stupid toilet!!! %#!!?% Why so UGLY?!!!* Pgraph... As usual, ended early... All ze efforts on taking Miss Ah Pek was wasted as Mr Siew told me to take it out in the end. (ArRgH!! All my shots sux!) See... What a short day man?! (not sarcastic k!)

*Slacking...*

Went on to watch a movie since i had 3 over hours to kill be4 the treasurer's seminar(i had to go back to sch at 5.30pm -_-)... Left with no choice, the only show tt i could watch was Resident Evil: Apocalypse (nc16). Was hiding half of my face in my jacket as i was watching ze movie... Jumped a few times due to a few freaky scenes or sudden appearance of any characters from the corners!!! And i did "Ah...!" of coz... Erm... ppl at the back were laughing... *embarrassing* Hope they were laughing at their frenz & not me (uh hah). And speciaL thx goes out to Mr Nice who took the time to company me! ^^ (think ya had fun laughing at me too...)

*Ze wonderfuL train ride!*

Treasurer's seminar... Things i've learnt from them.

No. 1: Pls switch on all blardy laptops be4 presentation!

No. 2: When troubleshooting a laptop, never ask an irritating guy to entertain ze ppl! He wanted to point out ppl to answer qns & see if we were listening! (pls.. ya gonna get flying shoes from me! & ALL the rest!!)

No. 3: Dun take a long time to troubleshoot! Drives ppl nutz!!!

Ze train ride home... Changed over at Jurong. (No seats) Stood at the handrails (i'm tired)... Left & right(sitted): 1 bitchy mom & 3 kids (left)... All adults (right) Bitchy mom saw an old man(whole head of white hair) looked away, & pretended not to see. I wanted to make her guilty, so i stared at her, but din work. The whole bitchy aura ard her made her feel no guilt at all. Then, she flexed her boopZ *wtH??!* Pls, i think ya lose to Bryan.. (OoPz...!)

Few stops later, old folks and granddaughter gets seats. Small pink gal sits down. Suddenly, someone is talking "cheena" (chinese) words loudly. Sh*ty! It's the small kid! I close my eyes, hoping to feel bit peaceful. ok... i think it's working... BLAH BLAH BLAH!! (*Opens eyes to see*) Oh MAN!!! She's talking even louder! (*moves 3 metres away*)

Few stops later, i get a seat... Teenage guy & gaL(in all PINK) walks in at Marsiling... (closes my eyes to rest...) *piak! PiAk! PIAK!!!* (*Quickly opens eyes!*) This is LAME... Stupid pink gaL is wacking the guy & keeps punching him with her fist as well. Their NOT fighting k! That gal's juz lame. *Ding Dong!* My stop... STUPID train ride...

-Next time... Bring loud music

with ya when ya gonna take

a long long train ride... -_-'''-

Olivia

Learning... Do not be discouraged!

2004-09-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

When one faLLs, they learn the taste of it. To some, this juz might be a taste that they will remember for life as a lesson. While there are others, who would bitterly bear it in mind & tell themselves to never fall for it again... I've learnt my lesson... But you've not... I fear the desire in you... As for the rest, try your best to learn.....

*YeS!!!*

Passed my very very FIRST module... An EXTRA one... Though it may not be very good, but it's an encouragement to me! =) Thx so so much for ze effort Masami Sensei! Can't believe tt Jap class is over le!!! Yeah! And congratz to Bryan! We've made it!

*Half-life*

+50... *DinG! DING!!!* life pointz: 51

Should be back to fuLL after thursday morning... ^^

Conflict or cornflakes?? Think if i did not get the wrong word/spelling... Polarization is what i've learnt in socpsy. There can be only extremes in most cases and no in-between (something like tt la...). Sh*t la... Tokking crAp aGain!!! In the meeting today, neutrality had its say, but a low stand. As for the other two, ze opposition was outnumbered by ze proposition. Proposition immediately took its place and came into action. Well... it's kinda like tt... Stories have 2 sides to tell... I've heard both and it's... well... ermm... haha...

*SSC*

Don't give uP! The event shaLL be postpone to after ze examz. It's ze first time, so don't be dishearten by the flaws in it now... Improve on it and we'll work together to get things done. Smile peeKz...

-Smile and i hope you'll

find your way through-

Love out to my dearest T1B3 peeKz!

Where is the PeopLe(love)???

2004-09-27T11:57:00.000+08:00

So far... I couldn't see...
Next time... Will be back to see ya little glowing flies...

*gLowing*

Zooooommm..... Lectures juz went by like this... Agreeing to help Bryan for pgraph as his subject was totally hiLarious!!! *whahahaha....* So much actiOn! & 2 wacky stuntman as weLL! Who they are?? ehhh.... E..... R..... haha.... Ya find out on Friday my dear T1B3 deariz...

*coMe on dOwn!!!*

Ssc booth... Promoting Interactive Day for aLL Ngee Ann students. There'll be an Amazing race cum Treasure hunt... From this Sat evening, all the way till Sunday MORNING! Hey! So come on down to sign up at 5 buckz(doesn't cover all the free transport & food cost la). It'll be a terrific event to have fun & to know ze wonderfuL peEkz in Ngee Ann... =)

The more, the merrier...

*siaO siAo cLub*

Siao siao gaLz ah... Keep laughing non-stoP... Hey Hey!!! Dun run ard la... Lolz... No.1 member Chin Ling is ze craziest of aLL!

To someone sweet... Thx for ze caLL... Though i dun realli know if ya were joking bout the "suan-ing" me part... BUT... HuGz outta ya...

-And between now and then

Till I see you again

I'll be loving you

Love me-

Collin Raye - Love Me

Hey! Dun sLow dowN!!!

2004-09-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

Yeah! Thx for the ride to Sentosa mommy! =) Got there and we rented a bicycle at the Ferry TerminaL... Obviously... I din know how to ride a bicycle, so thx to Alvin who shared a 2-seater bike (not tt "cheena" show, tian mi mi style k! =X). Not bad... Quite fun to cycle.. Went to see the various stops, then headed to the beach.

*Where's da babeZ???*

I tell ya ah! Today ah! Sentosa got so few bikini babes... -_- WHERE R THEY??? k... nvm... No hunkz la... =x (*bLeH!*) wah... Long nite walk area... And best part of it, i realised i'm not scared of the da dark, BUT... It's the possible chance of LIZARDS / CHAMELEONS roaming in the grass of buShes which scares me... AHHH!!! Be gone... Sh*ty lizards...

*Ganbatte!!*

To my dear GLs to be... Muz ganbatte to get the crowd going k... Luv ya aLL! I'm sure it'll be a success... Juz smile & dun fret if there's any prob (hope not!) To all my dear dear com peekz! SSC *Sha sha Oei!* Looking forward to 2nd Oct. Meanwhile, drag more participants =). To potential participants... I promise ya it'll be great!

*Buzy...*

Upcoming things for me, Jap test, IAC (sux...), and Socpsy...

-"Buan"??? I still find it bit

weird at times to use it...

Wah! Next weekend gonna be

super busy... "Buan" liao man!-

Is the great rush over??

2004-09-25T23:47:00.000+08:00

I had fear to go...
But i still went along.
Kept my head low,
As i reached this far beyond...

Only to realise,
that this nightmare...
Might have been overcame
and long gone...

Finally, it Sat!!! *Phew* Thurs & Fri was ze worst days of this week!!! Travel to and fro from skool to Peninsular Plaza and back... (sickening! tired of walking & travelling on the train) Well... glad tt sh*t is over...! =P Then after that tiresome day on Fri, i was at SSC slacking with Clara... (& Nengz too, supposedly... WHO *pang seh* us... lalala...)

*Phew...*

How bout today? Went to interview a nurse for socky psy (socky? Uh-huh...) Thx to ze haPpy Wendy who arranged it! =) turned out well... tt's nice... Later, went to town with Bryan to get a realli, realli Belated b-day prezzie... AHH!!! Muz censor that gift la! Haha... (ppl, be glad tt i'm not in the Spore censorship board. Or else, i think u'll all end up watching luv stories & dramas & cartoons)

*CraPpY ah!*

Betta get back to impt stuff in life... Skool work... Tests... Projects... &.. what-the-hack!! All those stuff la... Not surprise if some lecturer has found my blog on yahoo or some search engine... Anyway, Hi to ya... I myself have found a few other peekz blogs too thru the help of ze internet... haha...

*siaNz...*

-I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you-

The Reason - Hoobastank

(I got no idea, but i keep hearing this song everywhere i go)

RusHing... bEeP! tAsK faiLz...

2004-09-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

ThingS that i managed to do:
Get my ass to skooL!
Finish takinG my pHotOz!
SeNd fiLm to deveLoP!
Give Joyce her B-day PreZzie!
HitcH a ridE from Mommy!

ThingS i did noT do:
Socpsy Journal (i'm scRewed!!!)
Couldn't heLp NenGz out...
audiO... (hOr hor!!!)

hApPy BirthdAy to JoycE! Big huGz gOeS out ta yA!!! Early mOrNing... StrugglinG btw NormaL or Creative journal... Eventually... NothiNg to hand in... (*tsk tsK*) Got into cLaSs *suPer bLur*... Everyone wasn't sitting at theiR uSuaL windOw sidE... Juz sat dowN and ended uP watcHing thiS video... Got me feeLing bit queasy & i've alwayz actuaLLy had this disliking for tt Black woman's sHow for a certain reason...

Birthday wisHes gOeS out to StarfisH tOo... (lolz...) Not bad ah... Part of our cLaSs sanG a B-day sonG for him... See... We're so gd! EatinG Andes(chocs) mint thiNz... Juz luv mint choc! Sigh... I'll be rusHing agaiN tomoLo... Gotta praY haRd haRd tt my fiLm wiLL be readY for PgrapH..

-Will ya be there for me when the sun goes down

Or are ya gonna hide and to see me frown?

Will ya be around when i need a someone to Hug

Or muz i find ya and try my luck?

I'm still looking, i think i've found,

Instead, i've decided to hide this round-

My thoughts... Olivia

Lots of love to aLL i know...

SSC... Can't wait for the event to come!!!

2004-09-22T00:30:00.000+08:00

Still thinking of what to do for Socpsy... (sigh...) Oh well... dunno how... Got to jap class late today... Bad weather... Rain and rain and RAIN!!! -_-''' Ok... Next week another Jap test! Muz study! Gotta pass this man! (Ganbatte! by Masami Sensei)

*watashi wa miki desu*

Went to Ssc... The weather was nice and cold... (hmm.. not bad) Not much stuff at the meeting today... ( as in taking down the minutes.. Heehee) Saw my mortal's wishlist, got nothing on the list... (OoPz... ssc ppl will try to guess who) Wonder who's my AngeL?? Give me stuff to do! GIVE ME k!! Juz wanna make sure i'm doing my part... Guess everyone's too nice, worried to make each other work. KK.. Muz do some promoting here...

SSC is having our Interactive Day on 2nd Oct 2004, interested ppl pls get the indemnity form from 3rd floor at Sports Complex outside the SSC clubhouse... (Ahh... gotta quickly put the box uP!!!) Interactive Day - Amazing race cum Treasure Hunt (u can form your own grp of 8-10ppl) Look out for the poster around peEpz!

*SSC YeaH!*

Went to eat with Az, Nengz, Kri, & Kx at tt coffee shop... Wat A-la-za... (dunno how it's spelled..) Ate roti prata & sting ray( yUmmy!) Thx for paying for my cabbie ride Kx!!! Gotta think of socpsy now...

-Sick and Tired of this world

There's no more air

Trippin' over myself

Goin' nowhere-

Ryan Cabrera - On the way Down

Time... I'm gotta hurry!!!

2004-09-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

Sunday wasn't too productive and had to go Sentosa twice!
Sunday...
Went to Sentosa in the Afternoon with Michael & Roy (a very last min decision)... Only took 1 subject... -_-''' *tsk tsk* This assignment sux! Ze previous one was betteR!! Then i left first to collect the cake for Kris's B-day. Prob here was... From Sentosa, i had to rush back to Woodlands to get ze cake and THEN! Come back to harbour Frt with ze cake to celebrate her b-day... (travelling here & there is so sh*ty!) Managed to get there with ze cake... *phEw!* Haha... We went into the bank to take out ze cake and lighted the candle... (of coz those ppl ard Nengz, KX & I were like... curious?) Walked into Pastamania and we sang her a B-day song! Think she was super surprised! *heehee...* Lol... We were like SO SUPER LOUD!!! (haha... so many ppl creating sound together... Me of coz hack care those ppl ard us who might have thought we were noisy!)

After much cream (SPLAT!!) in each others faces... Lolz... We went on to Sentosa. *YuMmY hazelnut cAke! Heehee...* Haha... Successfully smeared cake on Nengz, KX and Kris... (k la... I also kanna too!) Sentosa was quiet and ze night was cold, 8 ppl were going towards Palawan to do area survey (sounds like Nengz when he's crappy). Anyway, at the "Southern Most pt" we went on to discuss SSC stuff. Ze lights went out at ard ard.. *yikEz!!* CL and C screamed... (i had a shock from them & from ze lights out) Later, shared a cabbie back...

*HavinG thE bLuEs today??*

Back to Mon... Ordinary day... Ze Bat is tired. YuPz... He better rest... ZzzZzz... Ze day ended really quick... (Hmm... ) Discussed writcom with Bryan. (Ah! Tt's productive!) Now, juz gotta type tt out & send it to Starfish... Oh well... still thinking of how to get my socpsy going... & gotta do Pgraph tomolo...

-wHerE R ya?? Are ya alright? I'm worried

bout ya... Whatever ya doing, please do

take care of the yourself & your heart... -

I've waited.... Waiting can be entertaining and exciting...

2004-09-18T23:54:00.000+08:00

Got uP at ten pluS this moRninG... (feeLing haPpy... *relaxed!!*) At last i got some gOod reSt last nite and sufficient sLeEp!! =) But... I know while i'm happy, someone i know is feelinG the other way... WiSh i couLd help in sOme way... Sometimes... I juz wish for everyone around me to be happy. And if someone wasn't feeling happy, i would think to myself - If the way to bring back a smile to that person's face was to give up my own (as in happiness and smile), i would give it up juz to see that the person is feeling happy once again... Why? I seriously wonder why tt has ever came to my mind before... (weird...) If God said i could do that for someone, would i? Hmm.. for someone who is nice, i would.

*Ya kiddinG??*

I'm weird.. tt's all... Haiz... The Youth talk started and ended late... *what the...??!!* Err... some parts of the talk was.... ZzzZZzz... But when F (Representing Ngee Ann as the panelist, better not mention his name too) said he once went after his mom with a chopper!!! (Uh-huh... *fReaKy!!!*) There was of coz the shock look in some ppl and the exclaiming of "WAH?!" by some of them... Ya lucky ya ass is still safe man!! (OoPz.. he betta not see this.. lolz)

*BorinG...*

Went to watch The Terminal with Roy and Eugene. =) I'm haPpy & cOntented! BeeN looking forward to watching it... Glad tt i didn't miss this show... Great is juz not enough to describe this terrific movie! Fantastic story, good acting by Tom Hanks, amazing set created, interesting characters tt spice uP ze movie, and tOp notCh directoR Steven Spielberg to direct this movie! What else is there to know? Ya gotta watch it man!! A movie not to be missed...

*HaPpY!*

BuSy dAy aheAd of me foR tomoLo... My dear friend Ian is going to help me out.. (*chEeRz*) Ehh... But bad news is ya gotta work for FOC!! (haha... ) See... I wrote about ya Ian! Contented now?? Lol... (*bLeH!!!*) Hey... I'm write so much... So talkative... Will try to cut short the next time!

-special effects go down, no crimes to solve,

no suitcase full of money, exchanges hand...

What you see is real people in real life...-

a realli gd movie

Tom Hanks
The Terminal

No stArz in tHe dArk bLue sky!!

2004-09-17T20:29:00.000+08:00

She gazes into the deep blue sky... No stars in sight
Only the glowing moon is all that she sees...
-----A faint smile she sees...
One that shows sadness instead...
-----She sighs, wishing that she could do something...
But it's kept behind closed doors...
They will not budge to allow anyone to enter.
Do you dare enter to take away the evil that is inside?

*Sorry peePz...*

Have not contributed much in webcg project... *tsK tsk...!* This should be the last time it ever happens... Gonna make sure i never do such a thing next time in my other projects... Glad that things turned out weLL! Well done to your efforts and it has been paid off with a smile from our 2 VERY IMPT PPL today... Mr A & Mr L... YeaH... Long break today before PgrapH...

*DrAmA MaMaz...*

*Lolz...* Are we jUz grEat at sLaPping othErs or wHat manz?? Oh... statement is not totally correct! Today at pgraph, it has shown that our class has ze most wonderfuL "sLaPpeRz!!" and dramatic "fighterS!!"... (haha... hair pull by ZH, prO at sLapPing by WC, punChing by Jp) And not to forget... the poor innocent peePz who suffered through the photo taking.. ( BH pUnChed to the grd, VSJ & Zh slaPped and ending up witH a pathetic looK, & OF COZ! Our greateSt staR who suffered thE moSt... MC being slapped to the ground! *Muz have been a really hard one!*) Really fuN to see thosE shotz today! 3 cheeRz to Mr S who let us off early to defrost from our popsicle state! (BrrRr... keke...Co...COLD!!!)

P.s: If ya read the previous entry before this.. My shout out to ya is... I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH ANYONE... Sorry for misleading ya! *BLeH!* =P

Muz be somewhere out there... I wanna find it back for you...

2004-09-16T01:21:00.000+08:00

Where is it? I can't help, but wonder...
Blessed with a smile that melts the hearts of so many...
Yet I see a different smile...
One that is sad, empty, and with something missing.
Where is it? I can't help, but i want to find...
While hearts still melt by its charm,
there are some which are broken...
Hoping that happiness may seep in, cure him...
I want to search... I want to find... I want to take your agony and pain away...
Happiness is all i hope for you... that's all...

Me? I dunno... Dun want to find mine back... Juz wanna wait for "H" and "L" to come back on their own... "H" seems to be coming back slowly...

*HeeHee...*

Was thinking bout surfinG todAy... Something i've long to do since secondary sch! Ride and conquer the waves... I 'm still looking forward to it! I think it may come true... But when?? Hmm.. dunno... By the way... Joyce, thanks you for ze sweet things ya said... Ehh... I'm not tt sweet, i think... I'm more of playful and being mischievous.. -_-'''

Hey! I like the wind in my hair!

2004-09-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

At last... Things are bit better now... Maybe coz of i'm at home and ze probs will only begin went i step out of this place... (Ermz... k... let's hope not) Got some advise from my friend, Nelson, that i'll juz carefully explain tt i can't work... BUT make sure i dun step on ze fire breathing dragon's taiL and prepare a shield which will come in handy to block off any fiery blows!

*FreAky -_-''*

CRaPz... Oh yeAh...(not da kinda excited tone) I gotta attend something on Saturday at ze New Sports School... Hmm... wonder what it's gonna be like. Had better not be boring k! If not i'll ZzzZzz... during the talk. Yeah.. Glad that starfish may not be deducting marks from me! All hail to ze Starfish!!! YAy!!! Oh... And i missed my jaP tesT... Gotta do it tomolo!

*Uh-hah...*

I'm on mc today! Off from skooLz! Went to the doc yesterday... Got 2 days MC! Lol... Long break! (huh? break? k... Side effectz of medicine --> makes ya can't think properly) CrApz agaiN! Hmm.. same advise for me again! swiM morE to cure ze spine prob... Oh well.. Since doc says so, yah... i'll try!

*YaWnz!*

Betta reSt sOon... gotta study jaP... feeLing bit *blur blur* now... haha...

-When i asked God for something, he

showed me someone who had it. But

all i saw, was a sad tale to tell behind

the very face tt had what i ever wanted

Now i'm contented-

FeeLinG a totaL cRaSh dOwN....

2004-09-13T08:59:00.000+08:00

Sigh... YesterdAy was a majoR bAd dAy...
Sunday, 12 Sep
Things started pretty weLL in the morning, despited the fact that i had no sleep at aLL... Had a morning exercise & got to work on time. Good in this way, bad in another... Had no time for my essay, began to feel EXtremely tired at work, and got screw up by a phonecall at the end of all of it... Really sux bIg time! At the end of this day, all i could do was drop into bed and seek my silent slumber. (Apologies to aLL who msged me on msn & received no reply, and to those who i owe them anything and have not received..) I tried to reason out that i will not be working tiLL ze skool term was over, but got scolded (maybe not scold... Screamed at? Something in between both.. Screwed?). What sh*t man?! I got skool and stuff.. Was late the last time cOz of skool... So? It's not like I wanted it that way... Dun cAre man! I'm gonna quit.. (am I?) I can't go on like this... I'm gonna get to the bottom of this prob!

Back to today...

*Spinning*

My head is aching... sH*ty... Down witH a fever... Go and see doc later... Going for audio & pgraph still.. (I have no idea y?) even though i might end up sleeping in lecture... Think I have to go and see the doc after pgraph, dun think i can handle this headache... (spine check as well, if it's stiLL not fine.. (It's my beSt reason y they should let me quit! suckeRz!!)

*so So dEad!!!*

I haven't completed my essay yet... How??? Oh well... Die la? *ermZz....* Go and see doc, then come back for audio recording? I guess so... But SSC? Err... that one i juz may have to give it a miss... Need rest... ZzzZzz... & gotta complete essay!! K... Gotta go for leSsoNs now... gOt an hour to travel to skool... *stop spinning... PAUSE! STOP! Wat the ****?!!* forget it...

-Let's go back... Back to the beginning...

Back to when the earth, the sun, the

stars all aligned...

Let the rain fall down, and wake my

dreams... Let it wash away my sanity-

Hilary Duff - Come Clean

AHH! TeSt is tomoLo! =P I needa catch my breath!!!

2004-09-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

*ta-da!!!*

*HeEhEe* See thE cursoR??! -_-'' sO distrActinG gurL! Who wouldn't notice?! Successfully added that it without ruining my bLog! (thX gOodneSs i didn't scRew uP!)

*OoPz...*

Sorry bout the pReZziE tt wAsn't wrApped... Haha.. Juz a sHirt la... NotHing kinkie my friend! Heehee... Sabo ya next time! *bLeh* And ze computeR generated msG... Haha... Wasn't cOz of the montHly sMiLey pAy k!! (cRaPpy mE!)

*wtH?!!*

Juz when i thought stupid dreamweaveR was difficult... WaH!! AnotHer onE is hErE to chaLLenge! Softimage (cOz it's by ze French, it's pronounce as soft-i-mug), a cOmputeR graphic program. I caN't find the sH*ty controls i'm suPpose to usE!! Mr Lis showed us a few computer anime today*LoLz* Ze chicken was the funnieSt!(aH-haHahaHahaHa...) StUpid cOrNy cHickie laUghtEr!

*ZzzZzz*

Tired... wanna sLeep... We had to gO pgrapH tO cut tHosE Black-n-wHite picx again! -_-'' somE of uS had to sHow our slides... *clak. claK. CLAK!* BryaN and Sylvester! The slide machine kept jamming on the 2 of them...

*hmm...*

Met Noorin, ChinLing (chili.. *haha*), and NenGz.. Hah? Mini Ssc meetiNg? *Rinnng... brr..Ring! RING!* heLped Eugene, Roy and Sylv with pgraph... AHH!!! Y me as Mary?! So embarrassing to take picx witH tt gUy! =X

*sTudYz*

GottA rUsh fOr sOcpsy!! Ahh!!! Quick, Quick!!! Had my ZzzZzz juz now... Gonna stay uP to study!!! Yeah! No work tomoLo, but workz on Sunday! =S Oh well...

-I dare not speak to you, but I wanna know what ya

thinking... I might have said something, but it was

to take away what may have been.. awkward-

Official Day 1... I start writing...

2004-09-09T23:18:00.000+08:00

Music's Playing... Michelle Branch's song - Breathe...
Last day of tutorial with Mr Wong... Hmm... Overall, he's great! But writcom isn't! Ehh... kk... not bad! was fun! =P Time really flies! It's already September and bout 5 more weekz to skool...

*yAWnz*

Great! Class end!! (At last...) SupEr tiRed! Been waiting foR the dAy to end... Surrendered to Eush for the 1st time(*bLeH*)! Took the bus ride back to Woodlands. Hmm... The ride wasn't too bad... =S

*gRiNz*

Tomolo is Roy B-dAy! Haha.. we've got something for ya! =) HoPe ya like it!! *sigh...* So hard to get something for a guy! (Ehh... of coz nah, if ya loaded with cashie $,$ la) No hotwheels for display this yr Roy! (LoLz...)

*HeEhEe*

SiaNz... gOt sOcpsy teSt & workz @ florist on Sat... (hoPe some *NutZ* guy wiLL buy aLL the flowerz! Yeah! Then end work earlier.. =P) *CrAzy me!* If that happened... Uh-huh... Think only on V-day la... crApz man... feeling *thirsty*

"O Brawling love! O Loving hate!"

(R&J Act1 Scene1)

BreakabLe

I've Moved!

The fire burns brightly, fiercely, and might cease. . .

Thinking... of... Frenz

I dunno what is what...

Finishing the incomplete & thoughts to convey to some

Dreams do often lie...

I spy... An imp-ish looking one!

Bittersweet..

Where's my suUnsHinE

Apologies to all, ya gotta speak up

Lots of Rest

I can't sleep

WoOf~ WoOf~

Simple... Dun think too much into her

Long (Dragon)

Access Denied!

2005 V-day

The Reunion Dinner...

I got enuff of this

Move on from tis day~!

The Dress... More new yr shopping...

Her... & He...

But a past...

What AGE do Ya ACT???

Fun @ SAM

2 weeks of so-called break ahead...

The anger, the almost hate... The controllable feelings.

The Girl who smiled so Sweetly...

Memories, cold, and tenderness

Yeah... Friday's coming...

2005 :: New Yr ::

Quiet... Foreboding...

2004 Christmas

Something is missing & christmas is so close!

Colour me hair...

Roles in life...

6 days to Christmas & everyone's busy SHOPPING

Ze sand, sea, and Seafood

Feelings of good and bad

The FIRST week has gonE by...

Honouring love in my thoughts

Kids, puzzles, and questions...

The time is ticking away...

Le Food Fight!!!

Tired? I dunno...

Cherish... and dun let yourself "miss it"

I thank God...

One of the things tt ppl search for

Nice sleepy day!

The true ones stand out in times of need

First time to mediacorp...

Yawn... Feel bit sleepy...

Hell of a good time...

The last few days... were not good

Sweet... A kinda nice feeling thats feels so different from before

Strong words are not enough to describe at times...

Smiling no matter how...

Ah HoY! My MatEz!

A moment like this

Interactive day... Thank u to all!

I wAnnA sLaCk... Yes!

Feel it? Heh heh...

Cold, Cold night...

Have a breAk!!!

The answers...

This day... was tough...

No FuZzie food for thiS gaL k!!!

Searching... for something...

What a day?!!!

Learning... Do not be discouraged!

Where is the PeopLe(love)???

Hey! Dun sLow dowN!!!

Is the great rush over??

RusHing... *bEeP!* tAsK faiLz...

SSC... Can't wait for the event to come!!!

Time... I'm gotta hurry!!!

I've waited.... Waiting can be entertaining and exciting...

No stArz in tHe dArk bLue sky!!

Muz be somewhere out there... I wanna find it back for you...

RusHing... bEeP! tAsK faiLz...